Extras Apr 3, 2013 at 4:00 am

Dalliances

Comments

1
You're way off base telling people not to mess with dandelions. Dandelions are Satan's shiny yellow eyeballs. Don't spray poison on them, but if someone wants to pick 'em before they spray their hellish seed through the air, more power.
2
You're wrong, Ian. This is the year we get a nice spring. Understand? THIS IS THE YEAR WE GET A NICE SPRING.

And the Cubs are going to win the World Series.
3
Fuck nice weather. Me being sweaty isn't good for anyone either. I just end up crying a lot and passing out.
4
Dandelion crowns? Seriously? And no pics? Shame on you Ian! Oh,and avoid Chinatown, ten square blocks of douche bags and hipsters. Tis a foul and fey place (and lame as fuck)
5
I tried to take a picture and my phone turned into an iTunes certificate that could only be used to buy a Coconut Records song.
6
Seems like I never read about fluoridation anymore.
7
oh boy. It isn't portland if it isn't raining and some stooge isn't complaining about it. They dont complain about weather all the time in places where things actually happen. Cruddyful nice place we have here. A million people in rivertown all milling around in the drizzle. Why is Seattle so much better and yet still a horrible place?
8
^^^I've started a Kickstarter to get this guy to kill himself, let me know if you want the link.
9
I'd rather it rain through June than have one week of 100 degree weather in August.
10
I enjoy the 100 degree days in an almost masochistic way.
11
ohh my dear fat boy Carmel. Please be careful. Piggishly Bloated AND thin-skinned makes for a nasty mess at the end.
12
Seems a waste of time and energy worrying about somebody wearing skinny jeans in the warm weather or someone wearing a 'crown of dandelions'. There are far other things to concern yourself with man. Fuck this column, You got a problem with Portland? Then take your size 40 waist somewhere else and write a column complaining about how much you hate everything.

Please wait...

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