Danger danger! Warning warning! Don't let this terrible-sounding event that just came across my desk happen to you!

Firstly, it's called Fuze It.

It appears to be one of those vague, awesomely out of touch monstrosities that occasionally bursts forth from Los Angeles on a nationally touring rampage of ridiculous claims. This one purports to be "The Ultimate Fashion, Art, and Music Experience," and seeks to cull together/exploit naively aspiring artists, models and musicians from the Portland area. "For participants, the event serves as a stepping-stone to either jump-start their aspiring career or make their existing career shine," etc, etc. The participating suckas are, of course, TBD, but the lady who emailed me the press release has helpfully informed me that "the fashion show will feature some of the latest looks from Forever 21." Tickets to attend? $20.

Yeah... no.