Not Invited Back for 2018

Alex Falcone’s Annual List of Portland’s Most Annoying Annoyances

Comments

1
This is some good stuff, Alex Falcone. Well done, my friend.
3
I like "vento" as a disparaging term for ventriloquists. It's like "panto" for pantomime: sums up exactly how creepy it all is.
"I'm a hugger!" "I'M A SNEEZER!"
And finally, let's see if we can do something about people lecturing me about Portland, where I have lived for three decades. It's not even that they're generally wrong; it's just that I only have so much politetesse and pretend-listening in me before I just ignore your ass. So don't start. Thank you, and fuck off.
4
Aw come on, how about a big ole Harvey Weinstein hug?
5
Wink when i give you something free. Ok,next time you get that free drink i will wink and also give you a free punch.
7
This was probably the whiniest article I've ever read, and not in a funny way I'd expect from a "comedian."
Star wars has been around 40 years, it isn't going anywhere.
Marvel made after-credits scenes a thing, as a preview for the next movie in the series. If you don't want to see it, leave, no one will stop you.
Who has an issue with hugs? I don't take them from random strangers but still, don't hate on hugs.
Of course you had to slip some sjw bull in there too, maybe that can go away next year.
As much as you all seem to hate Californians, I'm surprised we didn't make the list, I'm sure you could have whined about us too.
8
Fun read. Thanks.
9
Wow, this rhetoric is what should not be invited back. Beyond stupid, idiotic moron looking for attention.
10
Also not invited back: people who whine about Portland's drivers. Try visiting LA, we have nothing to complain about here. Seriously, inhabitants of pretty much every city on Earth think they have the world's worst drivers. Somewhere in Tibet there's a nomad complaining that their encampment has the world's most dangerous yak train herders.

Also also not invited back: people who whine about Portland's homeless people. Try visiting Seattle, we have nothing to complain about here. Seriously, inhabitants of pretty much every city on Earth think they have the world's worst homelessness problem. Somewhere in Tibet there's a nomad complaining that their encampment has too many drug-taking free-loading yaks.
11
Stu FTW. Phoensunfire however is the biggest loser for not understanding how humor works. (HINT: Stop taking everything literally)
12
This was worth the whole read just for the Friend Zone takedown. Well done.

Meanwhile, Alex, I'm sorry you have a sticky black ball of tar where your heart should be, but if you can't appreciate the awesome power of a natural wonder after eight+ months of All Trump All The Time, you were probably a) not in the path of totality or b) hanging around with the wrong people this summer. I'm glad none of those people were me, because it was incredible.

Even more incredible - and unlike many awesome things that happen in the world - I was in a rare position not to have to pay hundreds of dollars to experience it because I already live here, AND the weather cooperated spectacularly so I didn't miss anything. (It made up for the Huge Disappointment of 1979, but what could you expect of the Portland Metro in February.)