Alex Falcone
Dec 27, 2017 at 4:00 am
Alex Falcone’s Annual List of Portland’s Most Annoying Annoyances
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"I'm a hugger!" "I'M A SNEEZER!"
And finally, let's see if we can do something about people lecturing me about Portland, where I have lived for three decades. It's not even that they're generally wrong; it's just that I only have so much politetesse and pretend-listening in me before I just ignore your ass. So don't start. Thank you, and fuck off.
Star wars has been around 40 years, it isn't going anywhere.
Marvel made after-credits scenes a thing, as a preview for the next movie in the series. If you don't want to see it, leave, no one will stop you.
Who has an issue with hugs? I don't take them from random strangers but still, don't hate on hugs.
Of course you had to slip some sjw bull in there too, maybe that can go away next year.
As much as you all seem to hate Californians, I'm surprised we didn't make the list, I'm sure you could have whined about us too.
Also also not invited back: people who whine about Portland's homeless people. Try visiting Seattle, we have nothing to complain about here. Seriously, inhabitants of pretty much every city on Earth think they have the world's worst homelessness problem. Somewhere in Tibet there's a nomad complaining that their encampment has too many drug-taking free-loading yaks.
Meanwhile, Alex, I'm sorry you have a sticky black ball of tar where your heart should be, but if you can't appreciate the awesome power of a natural wonder after eight+ months of All Trump All The Time, you were probably a) not in the path of totality or b) hanging around with the wrong people this summer. I'm glad none of those people were me, because it was incredible.
Even more incredible - and unlike many awesome things that happen in the world - I was in a rare position not to have to pay hundreds of dollars to experience it because I already live here, AND the weather cooperated spectacularly so I didn't miss anything. (It made up for the Huge Disappointment of 1979, but what could you expect of the Portland Metro in February.)