Quimby's on 19th

I am new to the NW neighborhood and like many new residents I like to find a comfy bar to hang out in, but me being a lady's man the bar I hang in has to have nice looking ladies in it. I heard about this place call'ed Quimby's in NW. So Friday night being the right night I headed out to Quimby's. When I pulled up in my 1965 vintage Rambler I thought its in a dark desolute neighborhood. I walked inside and there was the bartender some old dude half drunk on bloody marys and 2 dudes with baseball hats on backwards. I thought what the fuck wheres the ladies. The old dude asked me my name and I told him I'm Elroy and he said "I'm Ted the owner." I asked where are the ladies and he said they will be here later. I ordered a Rainier beer and had some potato salad upon the owners recomendation which was a big mistake. After eating and drinking I really had to unload so I went to the bathroom but before I could get my pants down I shit'ed. I quickly removed my underwear and wraped them in a toilet seat liner,thinking what can I do with them,as I quickly wiped. Then I realized theirs a fountain outside. I left the bathroom much relived and the bartender asked if I wanted another beer. I said "No." I walked outside and threw my underwear in the fountain never to return and left in my Rambler. The next day I thought what a piece of shit bar that was and who the fuck is Ted. Well I found out Ted is not the owner but instead is the fucking manager due to a DUII conviction. Ted lives in the basement with a fucking poodle. What goes on there I don't want to know.
Their food was shit and the ladies never showed up. Got to give this one a 0. For those of you out there wondering what happened to Ted. He decided to not continue as a developer but to enter the field of entertainment. He just finished playing Capt. Crunch in a gay musical Gaycation. He is currently on tour with the chip n dales senior tour. Wheres the poodle? Elroy