Damn this was so funny, If you ever douche again, do it the easy way, in the shower push douch throw away the bottle. Your method reminded me of the first time I tried to use a tampon. I didnt know what the hell I was doing and from then on I never liked tampons. Im 40 now and douche only once and a great blue moon, it does strip yourself of good bacteria and if you do it too much your at risk of cervical cancer. My doctor told me this. So I douche only if it is necessary, otherwise bathing is best or a bath. But I found your article entertaining. I'd say just douche with warm water if you have too, it's safe and does the same thing withoout the vinegar. Anyway, very entertaining..