You have a very distinct opinion, which you have every right to... many share your position in not being fond of the band. However, I think you've done a terrible job of representing the followers of Phish and you failed to comment on the music at all. Why do you hate on something that you just acknowledged is loved by so many people? You use a minority of people you met, who should have been nothing but funny stories. Your impression of the of the attendees is not representative. A good writer would have attemped to represent both sides.

This is comic gold! I was at both shows, took showers both mornings, am groomed and drove myself to the show. Your subjective writing is pretty funny, however. You must have just looked for the most obnoxious and spun out people you could find and decided that, instead of writing an objective piece on the experience (and maybe an actual review of the MUSIC???) that you should instead just take the easy way out and write a piece that panders to what you perceive to be the popular opinion of your readership. did you buy some bunk blow or something? Poor baby.

Lame.

By the way, You are clearly making the bit up about the tye dye. There was hardly any tye dye there. I noticed that myself when i saw a person in a tye dye and thought, "wow, that must be a cop." This aspect of your stereotype is as out dated as the old hippies you say you were consorting with.

Admit it, you didn't really go to the show. You probably spent the weekend doing blow and trying to fit into successively smaller $300 dollar jeans and ladies T shirts.

so fucking' dumb.

you are not a good reporter.

"Admit it, you didn't really go to the show. You probably spent the weekend doing blow and trying to fit into successively smaller $300 dollar jeans and ladies T shirts."

^^ sounds about right for PDX ;)

While I will admit I thought it was entertaining read, the piece is incredibly sensationalist and is far from an accurate representation of the people at the show. Maybe a sentence or two describing how the majority of the show's attendees are actually normal looking people who like to party and have a good time might enlighten your readers to the fact that the absurd people described are not the norm, though they certainly are present.

"Inside the amphitheater, a breeze comes off the Gorge, carrying with it a scent of body odor the strength and complexity of which defies written description." - Just couldn't resist awful jokes hitting on all the cliches, could you? Oh, and great review of the actual music, which you dedicated zero words too.

Matthew Vallono attends a PHISH PARKING LOT

i agree it's unfortunate that many of the dregs of society follow phish around. however, many of the types you described are not there for the music, but rather to make a buck. on the other side, there are thousands of normal, intelligent, working people who go see phish shows, not because they can buy or sell drugs, but because they believe it is the best live music in the world. you chose to ignore this type of fan and paint a generally negative picture of the phish community. you also chose to do with some sort of pseudo-intellectual writing style that frankly, makes you come across as an idiot.

Lulz. Stupid fucking hippies.

"Man... Why you gotta harsh on my band, man... It's about the music, just stop thinking and listen man..."

Matthew Vallono attends a PHISH PARKING LOT

And this just about sums it up... for a concert review, there's a staggering dearth of musical content to this article.

Further, most articles that rag on the Phish scene at least try to bring the story full-circle and understand what drives the fans to show up every night; your piece just comes off as an outsider's disengaged, narrow-minded bitch-fest.

This is like me writing an article that all Radiohead fans are whiny depressed losers. Sweet unoriginal generalizations, maaaaaaaan!

I think it would have been a lot more interesting to have reported on how the actual show was from someone who clearly isn't a follower. The bits on the fan base are quite cliche and after having such a momentous first-time-around career (whether you are a fan or not), I think your piece could have been better if reflective on the actual music. Who really cares about the other shenanigans? I am sure you could find plenty of drugs to buy at a Coldplay concert at the Rose Garden if you wanted and plenty of gutter punks downtown whom could regale you with how to hop on a passing train.

Wow. Great article. So much substance and artistry and a true representation of the experience at the Phish Gorge shows. It's obvious you came in with a very open mind and had no idea what you were gonna write. And man, how timely! I mean, those shows were only a month ago! You're awesome. Keep up the great work.

Holy shit, Jake, well done.

Did you know there's an organization of Phish fans called The Mockingbird Foundation (mockingbirdfoundation.org) that has donated well over $1/2 million to music education for children? Or that the guy whose statistics site you called "migraine-inducing" is part of that organization? Or...ah, nevermind. Look, I know you're not the first person to scrape off the surface layer of the Phish experience, lace it with humor, and puke it onto the page. We know we're goofy and we struggle to keep the drug thing in bounds, but it seems to me that your real beef is that you resent not getting it.

(By the way, I know you only scratched the surface because you didn't mention your doseraping.)

right on man..of course we all have a great time, but the times have changed (and have since 96)..the crowd use to be intelligent, creative and full of positivity, now its scenesterville with nOObs looking for acceptence and validation, while spun out wooks and guttertrash prey on custies to pony roll. its become a trip by shortbus to nostalgia land.

I thought this was a great article. I am usually slightly offended by people who don't like phish or hippies reviewing phish, but I thought this was a fair, accurate and fairly positive article. You captured the obsession with the music and the uniqueness of the phish scene. good job. I was expecting an obnoxious hipster take on the badn and that is not what you delivered. All music scenes can be negatively depicted if an author wants to and you seemed to have an open mind and not obsess with the sillier side of phish phans.

Willing to bet 5 bucks that this shitty article was written by some jaded Portland, OR hipster fuck who shops at American Apparel. Go listen to your Grizzly Bear and Deerhoof you stupid fuck.

I thought this was an interesting and well-written article, but stunningly one-dimensional. It gives the impression (as usual) that all Phish fans are delusional, derelict, drugged-out, and just plain dumb. My husband and I were at both shows, camped likely not far from where you were conducting your interviews, but perhaps you skipped chatting with us because we weren't wearing tie-dye? Or perhaps because we - an ad exec and an engineer who, like the poster above, drove our own car to and from the show and showered each day - couldn't possibly be as rabid about the band as some of the unwashed? Whatever the case, I always appreciate good writing about Phish and it's great to get an outsider perspective. But if you're going to pass this off as journalism, I'd suggest you improve your interview skills and maybe...um...devote some time to the actual MUSIC?

So where is the part about the concert? Seriously... way to marginalize the fanbase and completely ignore the music and experience of the show itself.

Let's see here...you've managed to cohesively include, within a single article, just about every cliche regarding a journalist's approach to Phish.

--Comments on drug usage: check
--Comments on body odor: check
--Descriptive analysis of VW's, colorful freaks, tye-dye: check
--Mention of vegan burritos, incense, glass pipes: check
and, finally, for the win...
--a glaring deficiency of any explanation of the music itself

Cliche, cliche, cliche, cliche: it's easy as pie. Articles like these; you've read one, you've read them all (inclusion of cliche meant to be ironic). Why is it that, when it comes to Phish, even the most hip, witty, unconservative journalists resemble Fox news in their cliche-ridden, shock-inducing, misrepresentational approach to the subject matter? I suppose you've never read Joyce; your attempt at journalism reeks of juvenile spite and out-dated generalizations. To quote a character in a movie I once saw: You're obviously not a golfer. Cheers.

Complete and utter DOUCHETASTIC DOUCHEBAG WRITER 'WOOK" of the year!

Buy some jeans that fit and maybe your vag wont be so salty.

buy some jeans that fit and maybe your vag wont be so salty

So where is the review of the actual show? Seems like you completely ignored the music and took a few uncreative cheap shots at the fanbase.

Should have added this to your subhead - "Author Matthew Vollono Attends A Phish Concert...And Adds Nothing of Significance"

Typical Free Weekly attitude and perspective. You should have taken some drugs, danced and had sex, isn't that what a good rock and roll show should include.

Go and rock out to some Decemberists you fuckin dork.

Wow Matt, these Mercury/Phish fans are really tearing you a new one. If I didn't know any better, I'd tell you to quit this "writing" gig and stick to something you suck less at than writing, like shipping T shirts back to their countries of origin for forty to fifty times their price. Escuandolas nearly nailed it on the head, you do wear American Apparel, but only at below wholesale costs as do I.

I was also in attendance at the Gorge. As a long time fan, it seems almost sacrilegious to say that those were my first and most likely last 7 hours of Phish I will ever experience in a live setting. You are right, EVERYONE was on drugs. You missed the bullseye on Phish fans' favorite uniform though, not tie-dye threads, but silk screened T shirts with quasi-recognizable logos of their youth. Upon further inspection and investigation, you realize that they are titles of Phish songs cleverly incorporated into icons of beloved American corporations. I have always found them tacky and if anything, an étude in Photoshop. A blaze-colored shirt with the semblance of a "Tide" logo but with the word "Tube" (a great Phish song) across the front is ugly, a ripoff in terms of quality of T shirt construction and lastly, a big inside joke. So I don't blame if you don't "get it."

Returning to the lot scene, I completely conquer. Thousands of white people walking the fence between drug-induced comatose and death. In fact, from our campsite, our party was in full view of a guy sitting cross-legged, with his head in his lap, drooling FOR THREE HOURS. He finally woke up, scratched his head, smoked a bowl and went to sleep. Great way to spend an afternoon, huh? In our defense, we all indulged in illicit substances, some more than others, but after seeing the overflowing piles of trash and the thousands of $9.00 (each) tallboy Miller Lites on the lawn of the amphitheater, the sheer number of undocumented venue workers (everyone's gotta eat) juxtaposed with the talent, discipline, emotion, and genuine desire to deliver a few hours of escapism by the band, it quickly reaffirmed that I love the band, but I can't support the phanbase.

Matt, I miss you and your (patent pending) moves on the forklift. In the future, because I hope to read more of your articles, you will have to inform the public that you hate nothing more than adults behaving like children (a Portland mantra that I enjoy upholding). Maybe the one thing you hate more than adults behaving like children are adults behaving like children with Cerebral Palsy.

I don't have to boast my solid knowledge base of pointless Phish trivia including certain memorized setlists, but to the Mercury/Phish fans out there: this response was written while listening to two great songs: First night, second set "Bathtub > Harry" with the Meatball pedal turned all the way up.

These Phish-heads need to smoke a bowl and chill out! I didn't realize that they were so defensive and unruly. They're reminding me of ICP fans. Learn how to deal with satire and lighten up. Geez!

no, you're all wrong. this article was funny and great. if you want a real review covering "both" sides, don't read the mercury. this paper is great. get over yourselves.

Just commented on the superficial, in your face hedonism aspect which maybe contribute about 25% of the scene. I was there both nights and talked with plenty of intelligent and down to earth folks, who were still having a great time. Plus, you didn't even comment on the actual show!? Which is obviously why everyone was there. What unites many of these people who enjoy the jam-band genre, is the creative energy of the music. These guys have extremely tight arrangements, and are very capable of improvising with sustained, high energy. In my experience, this energy is quite palpable and accessible to anyone paying attention, and is the most significant part of the experience. The root of the energy and the whole experience is the actual music, and you didn't even comment on any of the actual music of the weekend. What a shallow, and very partial article. You focused on the bottom feeders instead of broadening your view. I am very disappointed with your lack of independence, something i normally always value and associate with portland mercury. absurdity is focusing on the absurd.

what? you were not at those shows. most of the guys there were frat boys or ex-college dudes. ex-college dudes are the ones that drive subarus and wear polo shirts 365 and make enough money at their entry-level accounting job to go to a few phish shows. and there was barely any tiedye there. fucking moron.

I bet this guy is racist. Your article consists of nothing but shrewd generalizations that should have been done away with long ago.

Mr. Vollono - Yes, there are totally absurd elements of the Phish community, but you're missing the point. Then again, I suppose you aren't a music critic.

lol this is the most idiotic article i think i have ever written. so your friend dave lombardi talks about how energy of the live show is. clearly after reading your comments it is easy to see how much fun you had at the actual concert. you know the part where the music takes place. oh wait. you failed to mention any of that.

oh and that illustration is spot on. how did my tiger get out of the car on on top of the bus. lol

I think I read this exact same article..in 1996! Wow, a hard-hitting exposé of the drugged out kids outside a Phish concert! Stay tuned next week for a piece about a Hank Williams Jr. concert(hint: They're all drunken rednecks)

And the Merc has the balls to make fun of the Willamette Week...

Sorry about inducing the migraine.

lame and wrong

perhaps you should take your notebook and do a little more research before you start posting things like "If you've ever wondered what happened to those really smart statistics majors who left school after dropping LSD, look no further." Since I believe ZZYZX has a Masters' Degree.


it's so awesome to be condescending

Whether you enjoy the band and it's surrounds or not...is an opinion. I've been to many shows through the years, though a job and family now take more precedence. That being said, I hope you weren't paid for this shoddy article. I was at the Gorge shows and you really captured no sense of what is like, even for an outsider, to be at a Phish show. If your goal was to acurately depict what a Phish show is like (good and/or bad) this in no way accomplished that. Sounds like you grabbed a quick paycheck in exchange for a weekend at a show in the Gorge and threw together a few quick paragraphs...and that was it. This article is disjointed, unfocused, in no way descriptive, and pretty much crap. Hopefully, you work a little harder on your other reporting.

Not one comment on the actual music? What are you writing this article for? To make stereotypical comments about the crowds? What a waste of column space. The Mercury needs a new writer, por favor. Not some biased crabby hipster who can't figure out why HIS favorite band doesn't pull in the crowds the way Phish does. You probably left as soon as the show started, you schmuck.

This article was trash.... pure unadulterated hipster trash... I dont even like Phish enough to go see them anymore (they used to visit my school in ME back in the 80s- ) and I know that there was more to the concert than what this tight jean wearing, fixie riding too cool for school could whip off like his white leather belt.

Fer instance talk about the MUSIC maybe? Even though I am no huge fan, Phish is a group of great musicians who put EFFORT into their craft. Perhaps the author should attempt to emulate that trait.

Epic Fail.

Maybe Matthew Vollono actually went to a Phish concert, but there's nothing in his article that indicates it. It seems instead that he drove to the parking lot, scored some dope on shakedown street and went back home. Why else would he trot out the same old tired "smelly hippy" cliches and pad the article with an insanely dull summary of Phish fan sites? Why else would he not even bother to mention the music? In an economy like this where many fine and highly skilled journalists are unemployed, it's unfathomable to me that even such an execrable rag as the Mercury would publish such worthless drivel.

It is soooo cool to make fun of other people who are having a good time. Enjoy your miserable life! At least you'll always be really cool.

"the crowd cheers as if the band were just hours away from extinction. Listening to the roar of voices and watching the multitudes still streaming into the amphitheater behind me, you would think these people will never get another opportunity to see Phish again."

********************************

The "author" seems to find the level of excitement among the fans unnecessary or over the top. He seems to be just another one of those drones with a dead soul, never participating, always spectating. Whether or not he gets Phish, he certainly doesn't get much light.

I feel bad for you, mang.

Can somebody please let Matthew Vollono know that phish is a band. They play instruments. Well.
Sounds to me he snorted a bit to many froot loops and missed the music. Classic wookie move Matt.
Us true fans will continue to let phish know how "well" by repeatedly selling out 20-30K seat arenas across the US. Its about the music!
O'phish'ally a terrible story about an amazing group of people.
People with tons of dedication and love for not only the same music, but for everyone around them. Helping one another and sharing with all their friends/family. Its a community of like minded people who for one, maybe two nights can come together and 'share in groove' as one.
Its about the music!
I myself saw a fair amount of shows this last summer/fall tour and Im more than thankful to be able to 'waste my time' with phish..
See you all at "8"

Wow my friend, how many rewrites did ya go through on this thing? I mean, a month out from the event? Trying a little too hard there Dostoevsky. I can just see you night after night cutting, pasting (he clicks on the Thesaurus) wait, no - cut again!! Then going for the most obvious label to pin on a "hippie" (whatever the hell that is) a tye-die. Good Christ man, get a little more creative with it. Mercury editors are really letting this already crap-rag go. Surely there was something better out there than this (and I'll quote 'em) "vomit".

And, in the purposes of disclosure - I don't know what Phish is.

Your subjective analysis of a small slice of the "scene" is pretty funny, kudos there my man. That being said, You clearly looked for the most stereotypical and obnoxious people in an otherwise educated and caring community of people. So, instead of maintaining a sense of journalistic integrity or reviewing the actual concert, you pandered to your hipster slice of friends in Portland, who also maintain a stereotype of Phish fans, despite (probably) never having had any real interaction.

I mean, train jumping? C'mon man, you can't believe that is representative of an entire community, can you? You took the simplest path to finishing this article by writing about and pandering to the stereotypes your uninformed audience already holds about Phish and purging your opinion of their fans into a shitty article about (weird) hippies.

What happened, did you have so much fun at the show that you couldn't compose a real article and had to take the easy way out by writing about what everyone thinks they know about Phish and the scene there? Were you afraid people would make fun of you for not having tight enough pants or that you actually enjoyed a Phish concert?

You sadly chose to take the path of least integrity and effort, and instead chose to pander to your hipster readership by regurgitating thier prejudged opinion of Phish, instead of taking the opportunity to use your words to clue people in to something they might not know about and may actually enjoy.

Way to be a Portland conformist. You guys are SO cool. It must suck to go through life so jaded, fuckwad.

Admit it, you didn't really go to the show. You probably spent the weekend doing blow and trying to fit into successively smaller $300 dollar jeans and ladies T shirts.

^THIS

Instead of "The Continued Decline of Western Civilization," article should have been titled "The Continued Decline of Journalism," or "Look at Me! I'm a Hiptard."

kys

"If you've ever wondered what happened to those really smart statistics majors who left school after dropping LSD, look no further."

Sounds like slander to me. Hope you don't get sued taboot.

My favorite line: "Phish have never, ever been hip."


hahahaha. Seriously?

I'm a long time Phish fan, been to countless shows and I enjoyed your article as the musings of an outsider looking in. I love the band and truly wish there was another band that even came close to elucidating the kind of auditory magic that Phish can and often does. If you know of any please let me know (I ask all of my phish hating friends to recommend current real music and besides MGMT, Connor Oberst, Tortoise, and Ugly Casanova I am yet to find a band as musically sophisticated as Phish) I decided to write a comment because the ones that appeared in the paper merc are pretty shabby and self serious. The band doesn't care what critics say and either do fans who aren't so myopic. I thought the article was funny, and fairly accurate even though it never touched on what the music sounded like or how much of a spectacle the performances were. phish on...