"Woman is the dominant sex. Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they are worthy of woman's attention." --Camille Paglia

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Camille Paglia

Williams said: 'I'm not blaming the girl, but if you're a 16-year-old and you're drunk like that...'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-23…

OK ladies, I've got something to say, and you're not gonna like it- I HATE THE PORTLAND MERCURY's NEW MOVIE RATING SYSTEM!

"What men need is a wake-up call: You're the problem." Nothing like blaming entire genders and sexualities for the reprehensible actions of some jerks. Hurray for hate speech!

Come on, you can't take this article seriously. They advocate giving strangers who may well have innocently bumped into you an elbow to the face, for fuck's sake.

What kind of oron would approach a woman like this? Women should be able to impose Islamic law, summarily, in such cases.

Well Merc, since it seems all of us men are to blame for the oafish actions of a few assholes out there, how about a lecturing column detailing womens transgressions, as we all know they ain't all 'sugar and spice and everything nice'??

Pero mira esa vaina, let the mansplaining begin!

The merc is pretty much just an extension of Jezebel these days.

what about the time honored tradition of whistling at a lady? the main thing is not to cross any line of it becoming a crime. look at it another way. their attention is a direct reaction to you being attractive. good looking people are usually so much happier in life. ugly people, for lack of a better term, can live very miserable lives if they get hung up on their ill looks and lack of interested mates, which is the reality for most of these guys. thus the negative social behavior. if it really bothers you just ignore them and get away. but be cautious...there are some creeps you shouldn't let out of your sight as they'll might sneak up from behind. i'd avoid downtown after 3am.

Oh boy..I just loved this! And I'm so sorry if it offends any men out there because those of you who don't pull this crap are such a blessing! To all of you who can't understand boundaries: we just don't like you. It's really as simple as all that. Don't make comments about our clothes, our weight-loss or gain, our bodies..you get the idea. We really aren't interested in your opinions or views about those things. It's just creepy.

I remember studying a book in Jr High about "Opening Lines".
Or in other words: How To Pick Up Any Woman. And Seeing how
I am still single (never married SWM 52 y/o) I guess it didn't work!

Laughing at all the losers going "Not all men are like that! This article is sexist toward men!"
If the part that offends you about this article is that she said that men are the problem for contributing to this culture, and NOT the part about how women deal with sexual harassment every single day, you ARE part of the problem, fucknuts.

"Here's a good litmus test for compliments: Would you say it to your mother or niece? No? Then don't scream it at the woman who's just trying to catch the number 8 bus."

I disagree. Is a woman minding her own business, in public, not in a situation where romantic/sexual interaction is appropriate and invited? No? Then shut the fuck up and leave her alone.

"Hello" can be threatening to women. Check out #streetharassment on Twitter if you don't believe me. Plenty of men that follow/threaten/yell at women that don't respond to a "hello". How hard is it to just leave people alone? Learn about privilege and rape culture and entitlement, assholes.

However there's a fine line between old school catcalls/wolf whistles/sexist jokes and simply saying hello.

Honestly, the biggest complaints I've heard about Portland men from women I've dated is that Portland guys are too passive and meek and refuse to initiate conversations with women...

Both the fact that women get yelled at, assaulted, and harassed in public, and the hateful, sexist tone of the article are offensive to me. All sexists are fucknuts and spiders ; ).

So giving a woman a compliment is being a mysogynistic asshole? Talking to a woman in public in any way without her express written authorization is harassment? Really? Because I know many women that have said that it's made their day sometimes when a guy they pass on the street gives them a nice compliment. I have known many couples that met in public places as strangers after one of them initiated conversation. I shudder to think of the society we are heading towards if the mere act of talking to a stranger is considered hostile.

To all the male Lovelab users who send flirts to female Lovelab users: Cut it out. It's demeaning and offensive!

I've tried "hubba hubba" and "I LOVE the color purple" to a fine lady wearing purple leggings. It didn't get me any good reactions, but I've seen other men ogling a lady, and that lady, walk back and forth with a huge smile on her face- LOVING it. After I told a female friend that juicy butts at Powell's made me insane she said "Just grab at it. You're attractive enough." I didn't take her advice. Something someone says is not the same as something done to someone. Would I grope? No. That's action. That's illegal. That could mean a kick in my scrotum. And that hurts.

No, I'm not a misogynist, ie I don't hate women, I DO want to fuck them though- with consent of course. If that makes me a misogynist a/o potential rapist to these writers or any other insane feminist ideologue, wel then, so be it. I don't have to care for anyone that doesn't care for me and worse. I may get a "fuck off" here or there, but the best thing I can say either to myself or out loud "with PLEASURE, my dear!"

Would I say that to my ma or niece? No. I don't want to fuck my ma or niece. Duh! (I also don't have a niece.)

Have at one point been objectified and stared at? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes, and well, no, because I'm a shy person and I didn't know how to reciprocate without being creepy. Would I have preferred being straight up groped? YES. God yes. Zeus YES. ODIN, JA!

Women are bizarre. I don't understand them. But that doesn't mean I hate them.


GWW had a great vid about this seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-N9daqANcw

Well, I ride the bus and people are rude to women sometimes, it's messed up! Nothing wrong with correcting the sleazies who do say things like "you should smile."

But then the article gets into the mega-hate and they lose the point. It is better to be constructive.

One time some latino gentlemen called me a bitch and a faggot from their parked car while staring at me in a not entirely friendly way. Another time some african american gentlemen robbed me on the street in sf. I don't think "Latinos / African-Americans, you are the problem. If you don't intimidate people someone you know does!"

Group based hate is messed up. I understand the need to vent some frustration on the writers part, but that kind of talk is other side of the same coin.

My favorite from "back in the day" when I was still a hottie....
"I'd sure like to get into your pants."
"Oh! Why? Did you just shit in yours?"

You seem to advocate making a false crime report to the police in your first graphic. "Tell them anything else you want" crosses a line. Some guys are assholes, but telling lies to the police helps no one.

It's really depressing how many men in here are confusing compliments with catcalling and sexual harassment. Are those two things really the same in your mind?!

Holycatsbatman!: You logic is failing. You are talking about a dating site, in which all the people are looking for dates. This article is talking about street harassment, in which one of the parties are made up of people just trying to drive home or walk into a store.

Another logic fail: Some of you dudes are like, "I totally like when someone compliments me, therefore every woman must enjoy being 'complimented' on a daily basis for years by creepy strangers."

My girlfriend gets harassed daily by men. It's not flattering. Just use your fucking brains and don't engage in a shitty way with women who CLEARLY have no interest in you.

I think this article is not great - most of these tips, though humorous, will basically open a can of crap. Many women don't WANT to engage with the guys in these situations. They just want the situations to go away.

ROM: First, great calls on the logic fails.

Second, I don't think that the article's tips are to be taken literally, especially based on the line, "Ladies, as much as we all love scathing comebacks, chances are you're not always going to be prepared with the perfect response while being harassed." That being said, I don't think it's nearly as clear as it should be, and my objection stated above is another problem I have with this article.

Oh, ROM, I think you and your sterling logic would benefit from a lesson in facetiousness.

ROCKET PEW PEW:
"It's really depressing how many men in here are confusing compliments with catcalling and sexual harassment. Are those two things really the same in your mind?!"

ROM:
"Another logic fail: Some of you dudes are like, "I totally like when someone compliments me, therefore every woman must enjoy being 'complimented' on a daily basis for years by creepy strangers." "

Wow, it's like Rashomon in here, except retarded. Tardomon.

"So giving a woman a compliment is being a mysogynistic asshole?"

No one is saying complimenting a woman is misogynistic. This article is aboutSEXUAL HARASSMENT, not friendly, non-objectifying compliments. If you really can't see the difference, you are a raging misogynist and you probably have a giant victim-complex too for thinking you are being attacked by this article.

This article rules. And men, while there is a difference between catcalling and compliments, I honestly don't need to hear either when I'm out on the street, running my errands and basically living my life. I totally do not need your opinion on anything. If you really really must compliment a stranger, make it a driveby:
You look lovely.

And move the fuck on.
Don't even pause for a response like we owe you one, because that proves you aren't being altruistic here, you're actually fishing for attention, which, guess what? We do not owe you.

And an angry response to what an ungrateful bitch a lady is for not responding is further proof that you're a sexist asshole.

STOP! Guys, stop with all this "it's just a few guys doing stuff like this!" crap. If it's just a few assholes then why does EVERY woman/girl above the age of 12 that I know have stories like this? If this were only a few guys this would be rare. IT'S NOT!!! If you don't do shit like this then this is not directed at you. So why get mad?

hottiedontwantyouropinion: You really are lovely! Now I'll be on my way.

Holycatsbatman! it can be really difficult to differentiate between the "dumb people" and the "pretending to be dumb to be funny" people.

jamdox: I don't think you get it.

Kitteh:
"If you don't do shit like this then this is not directed at you. So why get mad?"

Merc Interns:
"What men need is a wake-up call: You're the problem."

Tardomon.

Jamdox: Yes EXACTLY. You may not be the problem, but the number of men that harass women means it's statistically unlikely that you don't personally know somebody who is the problem. And it's only fair to make men aware that their friends, co-workers, family are potentially assholes. Because guess what, all women are aware of it, ALL THE TIME! If you don't understand what you're talking about then don't.

Jamdox: nice edit! Realised you should've read the whole thing, huh? What you quoted originally "What men need is a wake-up call: You're the problem. If not you personally, then your best friend, a coworker, or that dude in your fantasy football league is."

ha they get mad bcs they have this myopic view that we're talking about them. Patton Oswalt's recent public revision of his stance on rape jokes is a really good explanation/rebuttal of this mindset. @kitteh

I read the whole thing, Kitteh. I took that part out because it doesn't change the basic meaning of what they wrote, and just made shit longer.

And not to be oppressive or anything, but you're contradicting yourself. I actually don't know any cat-callers or harassers. Men I know may be those things, but they haven't revealed it to me.

But despite being a "statistically unlikely" person I am "the problem" and personally responsible for redressing it. But the article isn't directed at me. This makes no sense.

Also, fantasy football?

jamdox the fact that you personally say you don't know any catcallers is not proof that catcalling and street harassment are not a problem Jesus christ. You probably don't have any friends who declare themselves anti-semitic either (I mean I hope), so is anti-semitism not a problem?
(maybe you think it's not. As someone who just heard a friend talking about the ziobanker conspiracy, I'm here to tell you it still is. So is street harassment).

Jamdox:
So just because they haven't come up to you and told you they harass women means you don't know them or means they don't do it? And you say I am contradicting myself? If a person you know robs a bank, you know a bank robber, whether he tells you about it or not. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge that you DO know harassers is why you're the problem. The fact that you think you have no influence on whether people you know do this is why you're the problem. Of course you're not personally responsible for somebody yelling at women in the street. But if you would assertively assume the stance that street harassment is a problem, disgusting and wrong it might make somebody reconsider. But you would never do that. would you? Because you have nothing whatsoever to do with street harassment. You wouldn't intervene when somebody did it in front of you, because you're not responsible for it, right? Yeah, how could anybody think you're part of the problem. So confusing. Just because you don't actively participate in a harmful activity doesn't mean you're disconnected from it.

You know, sometimes I accidentally come off harsher than I intend to be when I make online comments. Sometimes I'm just harsh for fun, but that's another story.

Point is, I'm starting to feel like I'm arguing with a Rush Limbaugh fan, where the question keeps migrating. I never said street harassment wasn't a problem, longlowercasename.

And Kitteh, please, tell me you're trolling. Please. By your logic, everyone is responsible for street harassment. Right? Do you even remember what you wrote twenty minutes ago?

I wrote that this article is not aimed at men who realise that street harassment is wrong and act like it. Which OBVIOUSLY doesn't include you. Otherwise you wouldn't be this bothered. NO, not all men are the problem. But most men are. Because most men, like you, refuse their responsibility as a part of society that makes light of rape-culture and street-harassment. Their responsibility to stand against behavior like this and call it out when it happens. And yes, that is everybodys responsibility. Except for the victims of street harassment, since you can't expect somebody who already feels threatened to stand up to the person threatening them. From where did the question migrate and to where? Tell me what I am being elusive about. I don't mean to be, although I might have gotten off track.
Also please note that I clearly told you that unless you do harass somebody in the street, that you're not personally responsible for it. But if you let people around you harass without intervening that's like letting your friend drive drunk and when they have an accident saying "Well, nothing anybody could've done about that!"

I liked this article better the first time I read it two weeks ago in The Stranger... We couldn't even get a Portland-specific version?

With all due respect, you don't know shit about me. The "feminism" I see here has NO gender analysis, NO insight, NO program. Just jargon, hysteria and rabble-rousing. I have more feminism in my cock then all these commenters put together.

And if I squint and read generously I can say that the point of the article, which I agree with if we ignore the late-puberty revenge fantasy aspect of it, is that people who do feel threatened absolutely can stand up for themselves, especially in a public place where they are very unlikely to be outright assaulted.

That you don't believe this is true shows how this pseudo-feminism works. You have learned helplessness ingrained in you by society, and the pseudo-feminists fed you the comforting message that your learned helplessness is a valid reaction.

You are literally saying it's every man's job to somehow swoop in and save you when a customer at your work is creepily over-flirty. Did you even read the article? What, when the guy on the bus uses the sleazy "you'd look better if you'd smile" line I should punch him in the face? Or the guy who is staring too long?

I've used violence to protect a woman before, and have been prepared to do so on other occasions. Women might not understand violence from the other side of the knuckles, but you don't just go around fixing to hit people. You try to de-escalate. So the safest way to deal with most street harassers is just to get away from them as quickly as possible, and not engage. And yes, carry pepper spray just in case, and practice using it.

Harassers on a bus, club or other such venue will generally respond to a firm and sincere "leave me alone." If they don't, call for help. Bear in mind that being overly rude can be seen as a form of flirtation, and being overly passive can be seen as acceptance. Because they are, sometimes.

Now I'll leave you to read back through the garbled mess you wrote and find your own damn contradictions. I need a nap.

All you dudes who are defending harassment on the internet: This is why everybody hates your penis.

All these guys trying to make this article about them and say "Poor me! Women can be just as mean!" have most likely not stayed in the house instead of going for a walk to the store after dark out of fear of being raped, they probably haven't had men try to lure them into their car in broad daylight while making a five minute trip to the grocery store, and they definitely haven't been called degrading names in public just because they ignored some jackass that said "Nice ass!".
All these MRAs can shove it and quit trying to divert attention back to them and away from the real issue here.

You absolutely show that you read into my comments what you wanted to read.
1. I never said they CAN'T stand up for themselves. I am saying you can't expect them to. Somebody who is scared and doubts whether they are even right about being harassed is very unlikely to make a scene. You know why women doubt whether they're being harassed? Because people like you tell them "Oh, but it was probably just by accident." It hardly ever is. And you tell women they can't reclaim their personal space with their elbows, but damn we should stand up for ourselves. You're a joke! You know why were terrified to make a scene, even in public? Because if the guy gets mad enough he'll follow us and wait for a better chance to attack us. When women complain about sexual harassment they're often written off as hysteric and overreacting. Because men don't take harassment seriously. Even those that don't actively engage in it. But men aren't the problem.
2. I NEVER asked for men to intervene by using violence. I never would. But if you see your friend annoying a woman don't just fucking stand there until she breaks out in tears. Tell him to cut it the fuck out. Make sure your male friends know that behavior like that is immoral and gross. That's all I want. No need to swoop in and save anybody by beating somebody up. The fact that that is the only thing you can think of as intervention says a lot about you. And helping somebody out who is in some sort of trouble is just plain manners.
3. DON'T EVER TRY TO FUCKING BLAME VICTIMS OF HARASSEMENT FOR BEING HARASSED BY SAYING THEIR BEHAVIOR COULD BE SEEN AS FLIRTATIOUS! If you talk to a stranger in public and they tell you to fuck off or ignore you, then get lost!!! Don't tell women they can't do those things, tell men they need to get a clue. If a woman plays some mind game while flirting it's her loss. If somebody makes it clear they don't want to talk to you, then you leave them alone.

If you've got so much feminism in your cock you should know that when the issue is something you most likely haven't expierenced and will not expierence first hand you sit the fuck down and listen to people who are actually affected by it. The fact that you apparently assume you're an expert on how to deal with sexual harassment and still go for the victim blaming is the last straw for me. I'm unsubscribing from this. Hope you have a good nap.

The best way to find out if a broad has a bad attitude is to make a pass at her. If she gets snotty, then you've just saved yourself a lot of time. What's needed is for more men to be more assertive and to find themselves a nice Russian gal, who appreciates a man for being a man, and won't try to shoot him down, even though she is no push over.

How about don't talk to strangers? How about the simplicity of that, which you supposedly learn when you're like 4 years old. Don't talk to strangers. Don't pretend that anyone cares what you think about anything when going about your daily business. In fact here's another gem: mind your own business. Keep your eyes and hands to yourself. Are we really having to tell men to go back to re-learn stuff from kindergarten here? Are they that fucking stupid?

This kind of subject always brings out simplistic feminist arguments that never recognize there are shades of grey.
One woman's harassment may be acceptable flirtation to another.

Even though the text of this article is about harassment in general the title "Street Harassment" Why is the title not: sexual harassment (in general)? OK, not sure what you authors are trying to imply but since the title is street harassment let's address that:

The "Hey baby pimp wanna be form" is practiced on every attractive female that walks by on the street. A jobless loser with nothing else to do can literally hit on hundreds of women a day and while 99% of the girls walk by and try to ignore the behavior every once in a while one actually thinks a line like "Who dat fine bitch, i'm gonna git her (line I actually heard a guy use that over and over and finally got a girl to turn around and respond)" is charm cubed.

The whole idea is the percentage game is hit on every girl you see, doesn't matter how sexually crude or inappropriate your come on, sooner or later a some girl is gonna like your style. That's why they do it. It works. Now 99% of men don't do this behavior and 99% of women don't respond to it but maybe this is a way for that 1% to hook up. Sure, blame the men for being jackasses but there are women in this world that are attracted to jackasses. Does a man have a right to harass hundreds of women to find that one that likes a jobless creep? Maybe not, but is that 1% of females who encourage this behavior any less responsible than that 1% of men who practice it? When women go on sanctimonious rants about "harassment" they never acknowledge the areas of female complicity with these behaviors. Yeah, I know what you'll say: They're low self esteem women and men shouldn't take advantage of that blah blah... Sorry, I don't buy into that. They are also human beings with brains and are as responsible for knowing better as the men are.

Don't pull the "I'm trying to shift blame on women" crap. I still blame men but I also acknowledge that women share blame also.

If you don't like me specifying "Street Harassment" and start saying this doesn't apply to this that or the other kind, then next time give your article another title.

I'm glad someone mentioned Camille Paglia. She's the only feminist I've ever read that has been honest enough to examine some of the collusions that occurs in male/female sexuality. Try Vamps and Tramps. Great book, great essays. Blows this kind of superficial crap right out of the water.

Ok. I think I got it. Don't talk to you, look in your direction, bump into you, hold a door open for you, let you have the right of way or extend any sort of courtesy in your direction because I should probably be concerned that any of my actions will be misinterpreted as some form of assault or harassment. Thanks for the useful advice. I'll be that weird creepy guy you also complain about that doesn't want to ever make eye contact, refuses to waste his time with small talk when you give him his coffee or make change at the grocery store, and always walks past you as if you don't exist.

guys, if you try talking to a woman and she ignores you, it is not because she's a bitch. obviously, it's because she is gay.

Hold the phone. A moral equivalency has been created between a guy who "threatens and intimidates hundreds of people" and the woman who "rewards that behavior" by "responding positively to a crude comment." In this logic, I should be able to stand on the street and shoot every passerby in the neck with a staple gun because, you know, maybe one of them will fall in love with me because of it. And if they do, they will single handedly become responsible for the hundreds of staple gun injuries I have inflicted waiting for them to show up.

Doesn't it seem like there might be some way to find a person to have sex with that doesn't involve injuring hundreds of people on the off chance one of them might have an injury fetish?

In another comment, we hear "don't be rude, because that might be seen as flirtatious" and "don't be passive because that might be seen as attraction." Also implied is "don't be aggressive because that might be seen as a being a bitch and lead to post-harassment stalking."

Is there any way for a women to respond to a public comment/grope/leer from a stranger that won't be seen as a flirtation by some guy? My guess based on years of personal experience is no.

The suggested answer seems to be "just grin and bear it girls- it is your responsibility to suffer repeated daily threatening behaviors with grace and politeness in order to protect the right of every man to get attention from a woman they find attractive."


I suppose it was obvious when this article was posted that every rape apologist on the planet would swoop in for a round of "women just can't take a compliment" and "maybe you wouldn't get harrassed so much if you would just stop being flirtatious by simply existing in public."

The correct answer is actually: Give compliments to women you know. Receive permission to engage in conversation with women you don't know. Develop interesting skills, hobbies and a fulfilling life that bring you into contact with women who share your interests and are likely to find you sexually attractive once they get to know you. If they do not find you attractive once they get to know you, assume that it is YOU who needs to do something different, not them. Understand in a deep and meaningful way, that if you treat every woman, no matter what she looks like, like she is a busy, powerful and interesting human being who does not want to sleep with you, then any genuine flirtation you receive will be all the more meaningful and actionable for being unsolicited and unambiguous.

I'm not getting in on this discussion because people are really handing out the dislikes. I will mention gay guys get this type of harassment, ironically as in intentional irony, too from straight people out of car windows. I've heard "shake your ass" and "work it girl" many times. Sometimes the woman ahead of me thinks they're talking to her. Oh, no, I've been getting this for well on a decade now. Anybody who shouts anything from a car window btw is a danger to society. And I did call the non emergency line on one of them a couple weeks ago, but I'd never make up anything.

Good idea for an article. Too bad it was neither constructive nor funny.

For those of you that aren't sure whether something you'd like to say is a complement or harassment, just ask yourself whether or not you would say what you are thinking of saying to a woman that you don't know if you saw that she was open carrying a firearm while out in public minding her own business. If the answer is no, chances are you shouldn't say it to any woman you don't know. People makes these issues more complicated than they really are.

next time some old lady calls me "sweety" i'm going to kindly ask her to refrain from using that term.

In fact, don't even waste your time with American broads at all.

http://with-care.wwdl.net

To: Trisha
I knew someone would play the physical violence card, it's a standard feminist tactic. I agree any sort of unwanted physical contact is completely wrong and can in no way be mitigated or justified. Verbal, emotional abuse or pain is different and there exist a lot of shades of grey on the subject. Using a physical violence (staple gun) analogy is completely inappropriate. You want to discuss physical assaults? Start another discussion somewhere. Bringing it up in this context is a technique whereby bringing up a more serious subject (violence) shuts someone like me up because god know we can't be flip about violent assaults. Yes, I understand feminist manipulations.

My point still stands and it isn't what you tried to say it was. I never said street harassment was "OK" because some women are complicit with it. Where did I say that? You're putting words in my mouth. Something else feminists are quite good at. In fact, I made it clear I still don't think street harassment is acceptable. My point is allocation of blame when women start analyzing (if you can even call this "analysis", condemnation without any thought is more like it), women who are complicit with street harassers are not mentioned or even considered, and if they did get mentioned it's like you put it: A woman with an injury fetish. Something probably caused by abusive men in their past so it's still not their fault. No, you didn't say that but it was implied. Those type of built in excuses are part of feminist ideology. This is designed to absolve women of blame and ignore the yin yang of male/female sexual dynamics. Something else 99% of feminists manage to ignore in their vast canon of writings.

Sorry, women are not idiot children helpless against the machinations of those evil males. You're attempt to present that image is a manipulation (yes, you did when you made that stupid and irrelevant injury fetish comment). If you respond, stay relevant to my point and don't bother with the simplistic feminist arguments.

BTW Why is it OK for you women to shake your fingers at all us males because of the loutish behavior of a few? You imply we are also responsible because we should be controlloing the behavior of other men. OK, maybe so, but then it's just as fair for us males who don't practice street harassment (most of us) to expect all women to start policing the behavior of those few women that actually enjoy crude inappropriate men. Fair is fair. Is that a concept you can actually understand in this context?

Where does all this stuff that you’ve heard about this morning – the victim feminism, the gay rights movement, the invented statistics, the rewritten history, the lies, the demands, all the rest of it – where does it come from?

It is Marxism translated from economic into cultural terms.

http://www.academia.org/the-origins-of-pol…

Honestly, the way to combat this is to make being creepy a detriment to the man (or woman! Lord knows, I've run into a few creepy ladies in my time) doing the creeping. People who catcall, make lewd gestures, whatever -- they know they're being dicks. Mock away. But the guy who sits too close to you on the bus? Not doing anything in particular, other than being really, really too close to you? He may not be aware. Make him aware. Practice this in the mirror in a loud, firm voice: "Please stop touching me. You are making me uncomfortable." Square your shoulders. Use a hard stare. Do not shrink in your seat. Make that dude question the next time he presses his knees against a stranger reading a book on the bus. Shame him for thinking that his comfort must come at the sacrifice of yours.

Trisha: "Receive permission to engage in conversation with women you don't know. "

You sound insufferable. How do your cats put up with you?

Damnit Melogna, stop being a rape apologist!

RRRRRRRRAPE APE

Clarkson,

Let me see if the advice of a previous commenter actually works. Pretend I am looking you straight in the eye with my shoulders squared. YOUR BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. PLEASE STOP DRY HUMPING MY LEG AND NEVER TREAT ANY WOMAN THAT WAY EVER AGAIN.

Wait, maybe you have a particular attraction to crazy cat ladies and this line normally works for you. In which case I should probably not ruin your future crazy cat lady romances by telling you to stop your current behavior. I should probably just smile demurely and get off the bus so you don't mistakenly get turned on by my flirtation or get pissed off by my negative and agressive attitude.

And Erasmus,

I am thrilled to hear that you don't condone stranger on stranger harassment.

We can agree to disagree about the relative moral weight of minor physical violence vs. persistent verbal abuse and sexual harassment.

You want me to address your main point, which is that women bear some responsibility for encouraging the behavior of men who catcall because some women like that sort of thing.
I will agree with you that we all, both women and men, have power to affect change in this arena and it is not only a masculine responsibility. I will further agree with you that flirtation/harrassment has a lot of grey area in it. I personally would be happy to draw a boundary that is artificially narrow and means that I occasionally miss out on a genuine compliment that would make my day if it means I never again have to worry about whether that creeper making comments about my ass is going to follow me home because I didn't appreciate his advances.

The women who wrote this article (and are commenting on this thread) are doing their part by asking you (and everyone reading this) to do something to change this culture. They are raising the issue in order to get a dialogue started that can change attitudes.

How can you do something to help change the culture? Especially since you don't happen to know anyone who harasses women?

You could start by telling Clarkson, a complete stranger, that his behavior is unacceptable and that even though he appears to be defending you he is not on your side.

And then you could choose to disagree with me without resorting to name calling because your the kind of man who demonstrates respect no matter what the circumstances.

Those are two things you could do immediately that would help stop harassment. And if you do that, I will cheerfully agree to advocate for women treating men respectfully, whether or not they are sexually attracted to them. Deal?

What about when women cat call other women? Is that kind of harassment okay since its just another women?

I'm not sure I even want to talk to women anymore, and I'm happily married.

clarkson - you hit the nail on the head with 'insufferable'.

After reading this, I rolled my eyes so hard I have a headache now. I read the names of the authors, and didn't recognize them as regular writers for The Mercury, so I googled the names. Lo and Behold, each one of them get first page results as having written for The Stranger, The Merc's sister tabloid weekly up in Seattle.

All I can say is that I have always found the radically political element of Seattle a little more strident and obnoxious than Portland, where being genuinely well-meaning seems to have a stronger foothold (for which I'm grateful... hope it doesn't change soon).

That said, this article is just obnoxious. Having been to some pretty backwards parts of the U.S., where I have seen and unfortunately knew dudes who behave like this, I sympathize with the sentiment. However, I can tell you this with confidence: Men who act like this probably don't read the Mercury, and if they do, they won't take this seriously. This won't stop that behavior. And, in the better part of a decade of living in Portland, I can't think of a time where I've witnessed this.

Which means, the article is a stab at those who were already more or less sympathetic to and aware of the female side of this issue. Which is shitty, and kind of childish and oblivious on the part of the writers. Its like a home-owner running up to a person walking their dog, one who always picks up the poop, and scolding them for the fact that they've found dog shit on their lawn.
Except this has been happening for decades. Same dog-owners, picking up after their dog, and having angry homeowners confront them. Again and again. It's fucking tired and old and dumb. We know. We get it. It sucks. Please quit scolding at the world, indiscriminately. And Mercury? Can you grow-it-up a little please? Not everyone in Portland is a 22 year old. You've been getting more and more like a college newspaper recently.

The double standards on this subject can be absurd. I've watched American Idol many times with Nicki Minaj as a judge, she's constantly making weird sexual comments to the contestants, male and female, I don't know if she's a lesbian or bi or just another straight chick pretending to be lesbian but I notice with young female ones she'll even make lewd comments about their sexual organs, someone previously mentioned how women also can make inappropriate sexual comments and get away with it, this is the perfect example because you can see it on national TV. No one bats an eye when she does this. Randy, next to her, giggles like a baby every time she does it. Now imagine a male judge doing the same thing it'd be considered sexual harassment and his butt would be kicked off the show. How does a woman get away with this creepy shit yet a man does it even once and it could end of his career?

I can see where the authors are coming from but they're approaching this subject rather one dimensionally. The more offensive male chauvanist stereotypes used in the drawings seem to depict real life scum of society to a certain degree. I can guarantee these assaults on the fairer sex aren't their only form of wrath they wage on decent society. When ladies aren't around they may harrass or even physically threaten other males. Vandalism is probably a major player in their repertoire as well. Who knows, maybe some of them are even executives for multinationals. Basically, this behavior is only a symptom of a bigger underlying problem that I am hardly qualified to discuss.

Also, X percentage of the so called "street harrassment" that occurs within the boundaries of legality has to be expected. A whistle is like a 1 on a scale of 1-10 for harrassment, if thats what you view it as. In bigger size cities you're going to encouter all types. It's not like Mayberry where everyone knows eachother.

Blah blah blah... all men are rapists. You forgot to put that in the headline too.

If someone had written an over-generalization as equally broad and stupid as "All homosexuals are pedophiles", your editing staff and readers would be frothing at the mouth and shooting involuntary bowel movements out their collective asses.

If there's any truth to your unstated assertions at all, I would bet a years supply of Oprah's Canned Hams that the majority of the "harassment" comes from the mentally ill, drug addicts, and drunks that the city and state are too short sighted to treat and keep off the streets,

"JFK Jr. never got accused of sexual harassment"
--Chris Rock

This piece totally made my day! No, this isn't about hating on all men and this should be obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than a toaster. It's about those assholes that shout out these totally inappropriate comments while women are minding their own business. If you don't do this yourself, why are you defending the asshats that do?

I hate the "you would look prettier if you smiled" line SO MUCH because I've heard since I was about six years old. I'm not an unhappy person so I guess it's just my "thinking face" or whatever. Did anyone ever say that to James Dean? No. The worst was when some rando creep said it to me while thinking over the news I just heard that someone knew died.
Sometimes creeps use this one: "You dropped your smile."
My response: "You dropped your dick."
Another totally awesome response is "I'll smile when you're dead."

lots of boring shitty NIMBY-ass liberal MRA mansplaining in this thread. If you don't understand that structural violence is at play here, well that's an artifact of your privilege, and that privilege comes at others' expense. Oakland's Feminist Vigilante Gangs got hella militant w/r/t these kinds of problems not very long ago. I'll just leave a few links here:
flyer front: http://i.imgur.com/L8eTREB.jpg
flyer back: http://i.imgur.com/N9Hreyw.jpg
highly adaptable/adoptable flyer text: http://pastebin.com/J1xF5i4B
some photos from a march: http://bit.ly/10Qc4aF

also how about this: the cops are not your allies. they enforce the status quo of racist, sexist, classist structural violence. they are part of the problem. in this current fucked up situation, you may occasionally be left with no option but to call on them, but do everything in your power to organize autonomously & undermine the 'need' for them (which they work to simultaneously manufacture & fulfill). #NODADS

I sure hope kitteh and hottiedontwantyouropinion aren't people I know in real life, 'cause they both sound kind of asshole-ish. I'll probably get called a misogynist for saying that, or told I'm part of the problem, or some such, but it won't amount to a hill of beans and the world will keep on turning...

I guess it's true what they say- you are what you eat. A bunch of these women on here seem like real dicks.

I don't see more than 1-2 men on here trying to be decent or respectful. Proving the point of this article. Ugh, MRAs are so tiresome.

Jesus Christ how many people missed the goddamned point: If you're a woman, and a guy is making you uncomfortable, you ladies should very much consider lashing out, with equal boldness, to the asshole making you uncomfortable. I agree with the author, it's much better option than quiet acceptance, and it's the exact same thing a guy would do if he were being harassed. Great read.