General Dec 31, 2014 at 12:00 pm

A Year of Terrible Things That Can Go Away Now, Thankyouverymuch

Comments

1
I guess Ian Karmel was too obvious.
2
"Chemtrails" is not a weather phenomena name-- but CONTRAILS are.
Some idiot hippies looked in the sky, saw the wake of condensation behind a jet, and thought the GOVERNMENT was trying to douse them with chemicals.
3
Sure this wasn't written by Frank Cassano? Pieces like this can be moderately interesting when they at least kinda capture some sort of timely zeitgeist... but this is just a list of one person's ill-considered opinions.

It is also way too long.
4
It also included a fucking hashtag joke. Those gotta go bye-bye too.
5
This list is great. The mason jar thing is obnoxious. There's a bar downtown doing this, I won't say who but its on 4th between Stark and Washington, that does this and charges $5 per jar. For a bland, low-ABV beer like Widmer's Hefeweizen (you shouldn't have to add a lemon to make it artificially tart, a hefeweizen is supposed to be like that inherently, but that's another topic) which is made a few miles away.

Ah yes, street kids who pretend they're homeless. A small handful are but the majority are from places like Boise, La Grande, Yakima, or even Portland suburbs, and are actually just couch-surfing with friends and getting stoned because they hate their parents, don't want to work, think the whole extra from "Road Warrior" look is cool and know Portlanders won't give them shit for it, or some combination thereof. They love harassing/assaulting food cart operators and local business employees (remember the 70-year old Portland Outdoor Store worker who was beaten last year?). And spoiler alert: If you can't take care of yourself, you shouldn't have a dog. These kids need to be put into a cannon shell ala "A Trip to the Moon" (1902) and shot into the sun. Slow curtain, the end.
6
Dr. Bronners can't state an opinion on God, yet just above in the Talk Like a Pirate section you yourself make a very pointed opinion on religion. Pot meet kettle.
7
^^Excellent point, Velma. I will no longer scrub my armpits with Alex Falcone.
8
I now see Alex, covered with lines of text: "I shall work hard, like Mark Spitz!" and "Do not drink soap! Dilute! Dilute! Ok!" and block quotes from Rudyard Kipling.
9
I'm sure you guys love the advertising dollars for those crazy ballot initiatives. I bet you had your rent and payroll covered for a couple of months after those No on 92 ads.

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