FIST FIGHT A motion picture for 2017’s America.

ARE YOU A PUSSY? NO! FIST FIGHT TIME. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! PUNCH! FIGHT! NO PUSSIES ALLOWED. OKAY? LET’S FUCK SOME SHIT UP!

Sponsored
The Moth Mainstage Returns to Portland on December 14.
Literary Arts presents The Moth: Portland Mainstage. True Stories, told live. Held at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall.

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! TEACHER CHARLIE DAY = PUSSY. OKAY? WHITE GUY. TWEED. TEACHER ICE CUBE = MAD. WHAT?! YES. STUDENT PRANKS. MAYBE FRIENDS? PRINCIPAL IS ANGRY AND INEFFECTIVE. SWEAR WORDS. LOUD NOISES. PUNCHY PUNCHY, BITCHES!

SOCIAL MEDIA HASHTAG DRUGS AND VIOLENCE. AND PUNCHING!

WHO’S A BITCH? YOU’RE A BITCH! AND A PUSSY. MEN ARE PUSSIES AND BITCHES. I’M GONNA FIGHT YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. NUTS DROPPING. AGGRESSIVE BLACK MAN = FUNNY TROPE OR IRONIC REFLECTION? TRACY MORGAN CAN PUNCH TOO. OR ARE RACE RELATIONS IN FIST FIGHT PERHAPS PRESENTING A LARGER SOCIAL MESSAGE? NO! DON’T BE A PUSSY!

IMMA FUCK YOU UP! KNIFE? SEX ABUSE? LOL! THAT PUSSY TURNED INTO A DICK. PUSSIES AND DICKS. ACADEMY AWARD FOR PUNCHING GOES TO... FIST FIGHT!

Support The Portland Mercury

PUBLIC SCHOOL, SOCIAL DECAY! WASTED POTENTIAL. WHERE DOES TALENT HIDE WHEN SYSTEMS FAIL US AND EXPECTATIONS ARE SO LOW THEY MAY AS WELL NOT EXIST? WE ARE DROOLING BLOBS PRESSING THE FEEDER BAR FOR WHAT IS TECHNICALLY SURVIVING BUT NOT THRIVING. WAIT ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT PUBLIC SCHOOLS OR IS THIS A METAPHOR FOR THE FILM INDUSTRY’S ROCK-BOTTOM EXPECTATIONS OF ITS PAYING AUDIENCES THAT IT ALLOWED THIS EXCELLENT CAST TO BE A PART OF SOMETHING SO MEDIOCRE? IS CIVILIZATION FAILING ALL OF US? OR ARE WE FAILING CIVILIZATION?

FUCK YOU! PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCHY PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH. SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER BITCH! MY FINAL LESSON IS DON’T BE A PUSSY.