What the hell? You were seriously going to read a review for Yours, Mine & Ours? BUSTED! Nobody wants see a review for Yours, Mine & Ours! I mean—look at it! It's got Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo in it! It's some crappy Thanksgiving family comedy! It's directed by the guy who did the live-action Scooby-Doo!

What everyone does want to see is the film's poster, which might be the most brilliant use of Photoshop ever. Let's examine it, shall we?

1. First things first: Rene Russo has a nice ass.

2. A soccer ball? Geez! Kids are crazy these days!

3. This kid needs a beating.

4. This girl's clearly staring at Quaid's crotch. Creepy.

5. Yeah, dude, she's pretty hot. But I'd never hook up with her. I mean, look at her crazy family! Can you imagine how crazy the holidays would be with in-laws like that? Crazy!

6. This kid is gay for the other kid on top.

7. This kid is gay for the other kid on top.

8. NATALIE PORTMAN?! Is that you?! No? Oh. Okay.

9. Quaid's in military garb! Could this mean some military family jokes, à la Major Dad? We can only hope!

10. Hates his father. Loves hardcore porn, though.

11. I bet this is the adorable Asian kid who only speaks in hilariously fragmented bursts of "Engrish."

12. Skateboards? Man! Those kids are crazy!

13. Whaa? A pig?! Eating... a pepperoni pizza?! Okay, now I've seen everything!

14. The only thing this poster needs is a quote from a reputable and objective critic—like me! How about: "A laugh-out-loud family film filled with incestuous gay teens, doable chicks, sports, a cute Asian kid, Rene Russo's sweet, sweet ass, and—oh my!—pigs eating pepperoni pizzas! Hop in the mini-van this Thanksgiving and take you and yours to Yours, Mine & Ours!"