102 Dalmatians
102 Dalmatians is almost as good as 101 Dalmatians. 102 Dalmatians was really funny but pretty boring, because it seemed really long. The parts that were good were really good, but the parts that were bad were really bad. For example, the movie wasn't very exciting because almost half of it was dating and talking about stupid stuff. (Sam & Maggie, age 9) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John's Theater, Tigard-Joy Theater, Vancouver Plaza, Washington Square Center, Westgate, Wilsonville

The 6th Day
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a goose-steppin' kraut who gets his Aryan panties in a bunch when scientists clone his Nazi rat bastard ass. 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, St. John's Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

Almost Famous
Cameron Crowe's film about groupies, Lester Bangs, and learning to ROCK in the '70s. Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater, Edgefield Powerstation, Koin Center, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater, Mt. Hood Theater

* Baraka
Time-lapse photography is the focus of this beautiful array of scenery from 24 countries which includes Iguacu Falls in Argentina, Ayers Rock in Australia, and that old tourist standby, the Grand Canyon. Special one-time showing for First Thursday, and all profits benefit Dove-Lewis Animal Hospital, a cool animal rights organization. Mission Theater

Brendan Fraser makes faustian deals with the devil (all tits and ass and Elizabeth Hurley)! Avalon Theatre, Edgefield Powerstation, Koin Center, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood Theater

* Best In Show
Christopher Guest's latest with Eugene Levy follows several dog owners on their quest for the blue ribbon at the 2000 Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. A well-executed, ridiculous little film lovingly mining ridiculous little people's ridiculous little lives. Century Eastport 16, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Cinemas, Lloyd Mall, Tigard Cinemas

Billy Elliot
An ADORABLE film about a SWEET boy who wants to DANCE instead of mine coal. Century Eastport 16, City Center 12, Fox Tower 10, Lloyd Mall, Moreland Theater, Movies on TV

Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Here are a few things you might consider doing instead of seeing the Blair Witchsequel: bleaching your nose hair, shaving your feet, experimenting with RU-486, or watching Alf reruns. Trust me: This film is so bad, no amount of high-priced marketing tools--glitzy trailers, live webcasts, star-studded soundtrack CDs-can save it. And the motivation behind this dreck is all too clear: pure and simple greed. Koin Center

So it's a given that Gwyneth and Ben are only in movies because they're fun to look at (everyone one knows they can't act); but in this movie, they aren't even pleasing to the eyes! Well, OK, Ben is a little bit, especially in the scenes when he's a yuppie drunk, walking around half dressed and unshaven in his sexy J. Crew undies. (There's also a very nice shower scene with him.) But Gwyneth! She takes the helpless waif act way too far in this movie--she's basically just standing around quivering and crying in every scene, saying things like, "Please! Don't feel sorry for me because I'm a widow and and I'm stuck selling real estate with two kids, sob sob." But of course Ben does feel sorry for her, and then they fall in love even though he was the one that was supposed to be dead instead of her husband, and then Ben sobers up and starts wearing whole J. Crew suits rather than just the undies, and everyone is happy and in love, blahbeddity blah. Broadway Metroplex, Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Wilsonville

* Bring it On
High school cheerleaders must endure endless practices and bikini waxes to compete in the national championships! Avalon Theatre, Bagdad Theater, Koin Center, Laurelhurst Theater

* The Cell
The whole movie smacks of Alice in Wonderland, yet relies on the founding images of Catholicism; at one point Jennifer Lopez appears as Virgin Mary, ready to kill the evil beast with her enormous sword. Unfortunately, Lopez and her co-star Vince Vaughn remain true to the same, paper-thin characters they always play; beautiful, compassionate, out to save the world, blah, blah, blah. But the movie is undoubtedly worth seeing anyway--just think of them as background. (Katia Dunn) Koin Center

Certifiably Yours
Check out what young Portland filmmakers are up to in this evening of shorts by the students of the Film Center's School of Film. Free!! Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium

* Charlie's Angels
I swore it could never be done, but somehow they've taken one of the worst shows in TV history, put in two of the worst actors in Hollywood (Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz), and come up with a comedic gem--and dare I say it?--one of the most hilarious films of the year. In this updated version of the TV show, director McG tips his hat to the classic T&A detective show of the '70s and then has a field day tearing each of its conventions down. The cast is uniformly terrific, especially Cameron Diaz, who plays her role like a giggly, girlish sociopath. (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza, Wilsonville

Christmas in Connecticut
Barbara Stanwyck stars as a Martha Stewart-like magazine columnist who is instructed to play host to a war vet--but here's the thing! SHE'S A LOUSY HOMEMAKER! Hoo-hoo! Comedy, thy name is "screwball!" Kiggins Theater

* A Christmas Story
Little Ralphie's epic struggle to get a Red Ryder B-B gun is hilariously depicted in this Christmas classic based on the book by Jean Shepherd. And btw, it's Darren McGavin's greatest role besides Night Stalker! Kiggins Theater

The Contender
Liberals have won the culture wars, and it's embarrassing. In this Hollywood version of the Lewinsky affair (with the Clinton character recast as a woman), the Democrats make all the great speeches you wish they'd made during the 104th Congress and the Republicans are as simply evil and as plainly hypocritical as you wish they were. The Contender plays like it was funded by the DNC and scripted by a college sophomore taking her first Intro to Women's Studies class. The first hour of the movie--featuring murders, behind-the-scenes White House meetings, strong arm politicking, and secret memos--is actually a blast, but once the trite sermonizing kicks in (Democrats are pro-choice!) you'll start wishing they'd just cut to more footage of the sex scandal. (It seems Senator Laine Hanson, played by Joan Allen, got drunk and fucked a whole crew of boys one night in her past.) A B-movie about a B-rate episode in American history. One plus, though: Allen is fetching. (Josh Feit) Laurelhurst Theater

* Dancer in the Dark
Lars von Trier's new film may be an self-absorbed intellectual trainwreck, but Bjork is fucking awesome! Fox Tower 10

* Girl on the Bridge
Patrice Leconte (Ridicule) has recently been outshined by the directors of the so-called "new new wave," which is unfortunate, as he is certainly one of the best directors working in France. Girl on the Bridge offers further evidence. A ravishing, breezily paced tale of amour fou, Girl on the Bridge stars Daniel Auteuil as a Svengali-like knife-thrower who meets his perfect foil in Vanessa Paradis' Adele. What makes the film great, though, is Leconte's feel for the effect of place on people: The roads are beckoning, Monte Carlo is impulsive, and Istanbul is confusion itself. Auteuil is never less than his dour self, and Paradis--a gap-toothed woman, it's worth noting---is stunning throughout. Cinemagic

Goya in Bordeaux
A dull, laughably pretentious attempt to portray the painter's twilight reminiscences, Goya in Bordeaux marks a definite nadir in Carlos Saura's career. The elder, barrel-bellied Goya smugly pontificates to his daughter about the tragedies and obligations of being an artist; his younger self mulls over the compromises inherent in being a court painter and the agonies of loving a notorious mistress. Neither appears smart enough to paint a bathroom wall, let alone the masterpieces that are liberally scattered throughout the film. Fox Tower 10

The Great Dance
A documentary about the unique hunting ritual of the San people. Tracing back 30,000 years in an unbroken link with their ancestors, the San are accepted as the oldest inhabitants of Southern Africa. The San hunters enter the mind of the animal thus becoming both the hunter and hunted. If this doesn't convince you, Great Dance is the only film ever to have won three Panda awards. Clinton Street Theatre

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Grinch is much different than the old cartoon. In this movie, the Grinch has a huge house with a telephone, a pulley, and trap doors. In the old cartoon he doesn't have any of that stuff. If you watch this you will find out where the Grinch came from, and why he hates Christmas. Like always, Jim Carrey is FABULOUS! He is sooo funny-you couldn't find a better actor to play the part. On the other hand, the actor who played Cindy Lou Who was not very good-she was pretty corny. The Grinch was funny but not as good as I thought it would be. (Sam Lachow, 10-years old) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

* Human Resources
A stinky title for a swell, smart film about parallels between unions and bosses, fathers and sons. University student Frank takes a management position at the small-town factory where his father has worked for 30 years. He discovers that the bosses are exploitative scum and winds up leading a strike, while realizing that since childhood his father has infused him with shame for being working class. Terrific performances from the leads and cameo actors. (Stacey Levine) Fox Tower 10

I'm the One that I Want
Margaret Cho made a terrible sitcom a while back-All-American Girl-and this straightforward record of her recent standup act recounts her struggles with weight, alcohol, and pernicious self-doubt that resulted from its failure. Cho isn't a particularly insightful comic, but she sure knows how to go after a laugh. What's funny here is gleefully, howlingly funny. Her personal emancipation, however, doesn't quite flow freely from the rest of her material; the show strains whenever she stops to hit a nail on the head. As a result, it's the scruffy, playful stuff that fares much better, including priceless takes on her mother, a testy Karl Lagerfeld behind bars, and a fag hag navigating her pals through the Underground Railroad. (Steve Wiecking) Fox Tower 10

The Interview
The Interview tells the story of Eddie Fleming, normal dull guy, who is abducted from his flat in the wee hours by Australian police officers who have vague questions about unspecified crimes. The film documents Eddie's interrogation by Detective John Steele at police headquarters. Clinton Street Theatre, Hollywood Theatre

* Jailhouse Rock
A young murderer (Elvis Presley) parlays a prison sentence into a recording career. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

* Ken Burns: A Preview of Jazz
Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns (Civil War, Baseball) drops by to introduce some highlights from his newest documentary, Jazz in which he explores the profound impact of jazz on our culture. 1 pm only!! Northwest Film Center at Whitsell Auditorium

The Legend of Bagger Vance
Junuh "lost his swing" when he saw his buddies die in WWI, and he needs the love of a pretty good woman (Charlize Theron), the faith of a child, and some Zen-like advice from a mystical caddy to get it back. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Cinemas, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Washington Square Center

Legend of the Drunken Master
Miramax attempts to make a little more money by dubbing Jackie Chan's Drunken Master II into English, and then re-releasing it. Meanwhile, fans of the Crow series have demanded a boycott of the film, in a harebrained attempt to convince Miramax to release The Crow: Salvation. Angry Jackie Chan fans responded by arguing that a boycott of Legend of the Drunken Master only really hurts Jackie Chan. Blood is gonna fly! Mark our words! Avalon Theatre, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission Theater

Little Nicky
Adam Sandler stars as the son of Satan in the 35th Devil-themed film of the year. Could it be that the true millennium is really scheduled for New Years Eve, 2001--like the Quakers said? God help us! 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate

* Meet the Parents
Jewish complications ensue when Ben Stiller meets the pop of his new g-friend, Robert DeNiro. See review this issue. Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Cinemas, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Wilsonville

Men Of Honor
Why are you even thinking of seeing this movie (A biopic about the first black underwater salvage expert that soaks Robert De Niro, sinks China Gooding, and drowns the audience with every cliche of the military movie genre, never mind that they all contradict each other.) when you haven't seen Bamboozled, the Spike Lee movie about the TV show with the guys in blackface? Bamboozled is a lead balloon, but interesting leaden. Bamboozled gives Damon Wayans an unlikable, peculiar role that he inhabits fully. Bamboozled has a few minor characters that aren't pure cliché, most notably Paul Mooney as Wayans's father. Bamboozled has Savion Glover in a hideously underwritten role, but he dances-Lawsamighty, do he dance! Bamboozled ... oh, it closed already? Well, whose fault is that? (Barley Blair) Broadway Metroplex, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Westgate, Wilsonville

* The Misfits
Marilyn Monroe plays a cynical floozy with a heart o' gold that befriends a couple of lonely cowpokes (Clark Gable, Montgomery Clift) in this John Huston flick. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Nurse Betty
Betty (Renée Zellweger), a diner waitress, settles comfortably into a thick confusion after accidentally witnessing her sleazy drug-dealer husband's murder. She instantly blocks out reality, and drives to Los Angeles in pursuit of her favorite soap-opera character, whom she believes is her long-lost true love. On paper, this sounds great--onscreen it's surprisingly disappointing. After watching these relentless caricatures strut around for 112 minutes, it's difficult to keep caring, and to keep rooting for Betty in earnest. (Min Liao) Koin Center, Laurelhurst Theater

Once in the Life
So, y'all, I'ma tell you 'bout this FILM, yo. Coz this fuckin' film is the BOMB, yo. It's based on a fuckin' play by fuckin' Laurence fuckin' Fishburne, bitch. I'll fuckin' waste you if you go fuckin' see this film, though. Yo! I'm not saying it's a bad film, sabes? I'm just here, yo-its like about fuckin' doin' crime, doin' time and shit, you know? Like, they like brothers, you know? On the streets of fuckin' Brooklyn and shit, livin' the life with my man "20/20" and "Nine Lives" and "Tony the Tiger." So, you wanna know if this fuckin' film is any fuckin' good? Then, yo! You don't fuckin' like this fuckin' genre? Back off, motherfucka! I'll fuckin' waste you, bitch! BoomBoomBoom! (Jamie Hook) Broadway Metroplex

Pay it Forward
After having been instructed by his social studies teacher to make the world a more benevolent place, Haley Joel Osment starts at the bottom, where the bums live amid burning oil cans, of course. About five minutes into his effort, Osment thinks he's failed and that the world is, in fact, shit. It's a performance that'll probably earn somebody an Oscar, but it just made me feel like kicking a kid in the teeth. (Kathleen Wilson) 82nd Avenue, City Center 12, Washington Square Center

* Peripheral Produce
The December offering of Matt McCormick's film-based multimedia extravaganza, Peripheral Produce, promises to be one of the most tempting episodes yet. Most exciting is a sneak preview of McCormick's own new film, The Subconscious Art of Graffiti Removal. It postulates that the people who methodically remove graffiti are unwitting artists, participating in a widespread capitalist art movement... a radical, unconscious desire for expression in the ruling class. Johnne Eschelmann, aka The Distance Formula Travelling Cinema, returns from an extended tour of the US and presents a new work (complete with live soundtrack). Also included are Dutch filmmakers Joost Rekvald and Gerard Holthius, Pie Fight '69 by Christian Bruno and Sam Green. From the art end, Brian Boyce presents remodeled media collages and The New Lab Media Department will auction off artfully revamped televisions. All this, and the gorgeous, Jungian offerings of The Swords/Project rock orchestra? If you have any respect for any of the arts, you won't miss this. Hollywood Theatre

Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Hilarity ensues when Steve Martin attempts to get home for the holidays and is consistently foiled by the loutish shenanigans of funnyman John Candy! Laurelhurst Theater

* Pola X
Leos Carax remains the great poet of cinematic love, and Pola X is his finest testament to date. Casting off his life of comfort and abandoning his engagement to the privileged and lovely Lucie (Kathleen-Golubeva), young Pierre (Guillaume Depardieu), hustles himself and his newfound sibling, the dark-haired and raven-eyed Isabelle (Kathleen Golubeva), off to Paris to make a living. The blonde and ethereal Lucie arrives in Paris. She and Isabelle come to represent for Pierre a battle between two would-be truths which is played out as the struggle between light and darkness. (Bruce Reid) Fox Tower 10

* Ran
No, you cannot see it on video because you can't see it--the colors, the textures, the detail, the three-dimensionality. I don't care how much your home entertainment center costs, this is a real movie. The only question is whether you can take your kids. Ran is the movie they hoped for when they went to Gladiator. It has more glamorous pageantry, more intricate battle scenes, more significant violence, and a way more interesting story. It speaks to us as adults about the power of revenge. They should love it. (Barley Blair) Cinema 21

Red Planet
Humankind seems to be absolutely screwed for this one reason: When in trouble, we send Val Kilmer to save us. Even if you can grin-and-bear that we would we send a half-dozen nitwits and a malfunctioning robot to colonize Mars, the action never really kicks in. Kilmer is like watching Forest Gump in space: Sent in tincan spaceships circa 1975, Kilmer and his peas-and-carrots soulmate Carrie-Anne Moss crash their primitive moon-lander and afterwards scramble around a mostly barren planet. For intrigue and human chemistry, the NASA channel puts this movie to shame. The only really valuable piece of information that this movie delivers is: Never travel anywhere with Val Kilmer. 82nd Avenue, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Vancouver Plaza , Washington Square Center, Wilsonville

Remember the Titans
Denzel Washington coaches a bi-racial high school football team. Will they win the big game? Or more importantly, will they have any nudie locker room scenes? 82nd Avenue, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV

* Requiem for a Dream
The yuks keep flying in this Disney-produced user's manual for heroin addiction. Fox Tower 10

Rugrats in Paris: The Movie
Finding a quality movie for your kid to watch is an idea that functions pretty much along the same lines as why a heroin dealer has a vested interest in providing only the finest smack for his clientele. He could cut his opiates with shoe polish and his patrons wouldn't really mind. But take heart! For this is the season when the entertainment industry presents it's most enticing new kiddy-crack. Why waste time dabbling in the waters of those fancy foreigners with their unintelligible offerings (Teletubbies, Pokemon, etc.) or those epileptic, fit-inducing upstarts who employ every cheap trick involving violence, sex, and subliminal messaging (everything on Fox Kids, for example). Your child does not need variety--your child needs success! And you know full well that the Rugrats have been, are, and for some time to come will be the bearers of the formula for success. Sing when you're winning my friends, sing when you're winning. (Kudzai Mudede) Century Eastport 16, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Lloyd Mall, Milwaukie 3 Theater, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Vancouver Plaza , Washington Square Center, Wilsonville

A mother and her daughter lead separate, but together lives in this award-winning Spanish film. A widow enters the picture, and manages to slowly draw these two together using love and hilarity! Fox Tower 10

* Sound and Fury
If it's dramatic tension you're looking for, there's nothing like a family, and Sound and Fury depicts a house divided in a most unusual way. Two adult brothers, one deaf, one not, who differ on how to treat their own children's deafness. Chris (who can hear) and his wife Mari opt for a cochlear implant for their son, which will enable him to hear, while Peter and his wife, Nita (both of whom are deaf), decide their daughter will not have the operation, for fear of her losing her "deaf identity." The situation provokes passionate arguing on both sides of the issue (and both sides accuse the other of being abusive). If you can't conceive of why a person would say, given the choice, that they'd never want to join the "hearing community," this provocative film is a must-see. (Gillian G. Gaar) Northwest Film Center at The Guild Theater

Space Cowboys
Three old retired Air Force pilots want one last ride into outer space. Christ! Isn't it bad enough that these old farts always get the beautiful young chicks in the movies? And now they want to go into space, too? Forget it, Grandpa! It's off to the nursing home for you! Cinemagic

The Tao of Steve
The Tao of Steve: 101 ways to bag a babe and keep her coming back for more.

The Tic Code
A 10-year-old jazz pianist teams up with a respected sax player--but they both have Tourette's Syndrome! Hilarity and heartbreak ensue! Fox Tower 10

* Tommy
Look, The Who's rock opera is a testament to Pete Townshend's bizarre (yet charming) solipsism; the sets are made for acid-dosing hippies; a ridiculously dressed Elton John actually acts. That, and it's a camp lover's ooey-gooey wet dream! Examine the elements: there's bad lighting; drug references; trippy, self-effacing dance scenes; tragedy; pin-fucking-ball; and the sparkling, resplendant, talented, (looking a little baggy in the eyes but still) gorgeous ANN-MARGRET!! Plus the best (read: over-the-top) music The Who ever wrote, and really incredible costuming. The plot is all very Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but what else can you expect from a movie made in the '70s. Go see it! (Julianne Shepherd) Hollywood Theatre

Given a blank check after The Sixth Sense, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has returned the studio's largesse by delivering one of the worst films of the year. Bruce Willis stars (actually, he abandons both his acting talent and his star charisma; more accurate to say he sleepily shows up) as the sole survivor of a train wreck, one moreover who walks away without a scratch. Soon after he is approached by Samuel L. Jackson, pop-eyed intense as always, a comic-book collector who claims that Willis is a charmed person, immune to harm, perhaps gifted with psychic powers. Thus introducing a whole new genre: the grim, glacially paced, risibly pretentious superhero flick. Hard to say what's worse: Shyamalan's grade-school mix of Nietzschean messianism and find-your-inner-light New Ageism, or that he insists on taking all this hogwash so seriously. (Bruce Reid) Broadway Metroplex, Cinema 99, City Center 12, Clackamas Town Center, Division Street, Eastgate, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lake Twin Cinema, Lloyd Cinemas, Movies on TV, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Tigard Cinemas, Vancouver Plaza , Wilsonville

The Yards
Leo Handler (Mark Wahlberg) is a street kid freshly released from prison after taking the fall for his friend Willie Gutierrez (Joaquin Phoenix). He wants to get his life back on track, and appeals to his influential Uncle Frank (James Caan) for work at his train repair company, then finds himself drawn into a downward spiral of corruption, violence, and familial betrayal. The return of the prodigal son is far from a fresh theme, but director James Gray has assembled an outstanding cast and had the good sense to stay out of their way. It is only in the last few minutes of the film that Gray's minimalist instinct derails, as each plot point is rushed ruthlessly toward completion. Characters dash about brandishing guns and plummet willy-nilly over balconies at the cost of the delicate, melancholy truth the rest of this worthwhile film so elegantly evokes. (Tamara Paris) City Center 12, Hollywood Theatre

What Lies Beneath
It's official! Director Robert Zemeckis (Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Forrest Gump) is a washed-up hack.Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford sink to new acting lows, and while the film still somehow manages to be occasionally entertaining, the jump-out-and-scare-the-shit-out-of-ya shocks can't make up for the waste of time and money. Pass! (Wm. Steven Humprey) Koin Center