The 40-Year-Old Virgin
A giddily puerile and surprisingly sweet film that heartily deserves its R rating. Steve Carell earnestly plays Andy, a—well, duh—40-year-old virgin. When his coworkers discover that the dorky, uptight, and weirdly adorable Andy has never—how shall I put this?—fucked, they decide to do something about it. Hi-jinks, of course, ensue. (Erik Henriksen) Regal Cinemas, etc.
See review this issue. Cinema 21
A depressing portrait of a woman's downfall—now with almost no insight! The woman in question is Stella (Natasha Richardson), who's the wife of a psychiatrist; though her marriage is already creaky, things really tank when her husband moves them onto the grounds of his new workplace—an asylum—at which point Stella becomes a poster child for worst-case-scenario bored wifedom. Throughout Asylum, I kept thinking, "Stella, please do something smart!" But she didn't. And when the main character in a film like this is absolutely unsympathetic, what's the point? (Marjorie Skinner) Broadway Metroplex
Bite the Hand Cinema
Film series Bite the Hand showcases the work of Ferris Wheel, an "art collective whose members appear masked in public and sign their work with fantastic names." The Know
The Brothers Grimm
See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.
Not screened for critics, though we'll have a short for it next week. In the meantime, this is the plot outline from IMDB.com: "Bloodthirsty creatures await a pack of divers who become trapped in an underwater cave network." Well, DUH. What do you expect's living in an underwater cave network? Stupid divers. Regal Cinemas, etc.
Dead & Breakfast
See review this issue. Hollywood Theatre
For 13 straight summers, Timothy Treadwell really did go up and camp out in Alaska's Grizzly Maze, home to thousands of burly, wild grizzly bears. At close range, Treadwell really did coo baby talk at these vicious, hungry creatures, and he really did stroke their fur with his bare hands. And in October of 2003, Treadwell and his girlfriend, Amie Huguenard, really were killed and eaten by a grizzly bear. For Grizzly Man, Werner Herzog dug into more than 100 hours of film footage that Treadwell shot while living among the bears—footage that is frequently hilarious, occasionally profound, and sometimes terrifying. (Justin Sanders) Fox Tower 10
IT (Independent Tuesdays)
Nocturnal's homemade film and video event—now at Acme! Acme
Originally made for Swedish TV, this 1975 examination of the opera world is a favorite among Bergman fans. It also inspired 1983's groundbreaking The Smurfs and the Magic Flute, in which a villain named McCreep steals the Smurfs' magic flute. Clinton Street Theater
Machines come to life—and they're evil! And we only have Emilio Estevez to protect us! The humanity! Written and directed by Stephen King. Clinton Street Theater
Post-Friends, Courtney Cox gets all serious in this dreamy thriller that tells the same murder story three different times, getting progressively less interesting each time. In each segment, we see her boyfriend (James LeGros) get all shot up in a convenience store robbery, followed by Cox's Sophie dealing with the aftermath (which involves weird, kind of supernatural details regarding the case). Without her sitcom friends and a laugh track, it's amazing how bland Cox is onscreen—she's almost nonexistent, which actually makes sense when the film's incredibly lame "twist" ending comes to light—but that doesn't make it any more fun to watch. (Justin Sanders) Fox Tower 10
Though "uneven" is definitely spot-on in describing Pure, other words fit. How about banal, uninspired, and stupid-as-fuck? Molly Parker and Keira Knightley play two East London heroin—junkies whose using affects 10-year-old Paul (Harry Eden). The rest you know—Paul is taken away from his mother (Parker), Knightley loses her baby, there's an appropriately maudlin piano score, plenty of run-of-the-mill performances, and it all adds up to a nauseating 96 minutes. (Will Gardner) Hollywood Theatre
Hey—you know what's funny? Airports! Why, they've been providing material to comedians for decades! And hey—you know what's terrifying? Airports! And Wes Craven exploits both emotions in his new thriller, Red Eye. The first three-quarters of Red Eye, surprisingly enough, are patiently paced, with Craven managing to get some adrenalin pumping with an onslaught of detail-oriented thrills. But the moment the characters leave the plane, you should probably exit the theater as well—it's here that the film deflates into laughable knife battles and the script tailspins into ridiculous plot developments. (Jenna Roadman) Regal Cinemas, etc.
Through precocious and circuitous logic, Catholic school ninth grader Ralph (Adam Butcher) is convinced that if he miraculously wins the Boston Marathon, his ailing mother will wake up from her coma. Though the film does its best to pluck out your bleeding heart, the bulk of it is a light, endearing comedy about the ultimate underdog and the power of stubborn perseverance. Exceedingly likeable, Ralph is a young cad who struggles with chronic masturbation, bad grades, and the other trappings of lovable, unruly, wiry little fellows like himself. A bit of a dork at school, his sincere efforts to woo a girl who wants to be a nun, and his attempts to wake his mother with strong scents (like dog shit) are endlessly charming, if a bit of a sucker punch. (Marjorie Skinner) Hollywood Theatre
The Skeleton Key
The Skeleton Key is clearly a tribute to awesome psychological/mystical thrillers such as The Omen, Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, and Rosemary's Baby—but why should I give a crap? If I wanted to see a great example of this genre, I'd just stay home and watch The Omen, Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, or Rosemary's Baby. The reasons these films worked is because they exploited the fears of the times in which they were made—and all The Skeleton Key exploits is my wallet. (Wm. Steven Humphrey) Century 16 Cedar Hills Crossing, Century Eastport 16, Sherwood 10 , Lloyd Cinemas, Wilsonville, Pioneer Place Stadium 6, Division Street, Tigard Cinemas, Movies on TV, Evergreen Parkway, Oak Grove 8 Theater
Supercross: The Movie
Perhaps I'm neither fast nor furious enough to understand the allure of an extended Mountain Dew commercial, but if you're really into soul-patched dudes on motorcycles that get all muddy while uttering lines that make Linkin Park look deep, then this is the perfect movie for you and your brahs. (Kip Berman) Century Eastport 16, Century 16 Cedar Hills Crossing, Oak Grove 8 Theater, Evergreen Parkway, Division Street, Movies on TV, Lloyd Mall
Not screened for critics. According to the press release, the film is "a heartfelt and comic film that tells the story of an aspiring model who falls in love with a struggling musician when they suddenly cross paths on a NY subway train." Yeah. 'Cause that sort of shit always happens on creepy New York subway trains. Century Eastport 16, Century 16 Cedar Hills Crossing, Movies on TV, Broadway Metroplex, Lloyd Mall, City Center 12
A documentary about one of the oddest hippie events ever. Sponsored by Republican Governor Tom McCall, Vortex 1—1970's week-long music festival—was an attempt to distract protesters from an impeding visit by President Nixon. Must be seen to be believed: It makes Woodstock seem G-rated. (Phil Busse) Bagdad Theater