Movies & TV Apr 30, 2009 at 4:00 am

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Is an Execrable Excretion! Ha!

Comments

1
Just curious Erik - do you usually like these kinds of movies, Summer blockbusters? Or are you an art-house douchebag who wouldn't enjoy sitting through anything that doesn't involve sub-titles, split screens, or tortured emotional bullshit? Because movies like "Woverine" aren't about telling complicated stories, or over-thinking every camera angle - they're about explosions, loud noises, and bright colors. They're about beautiful people beating on each other and special effects galore. They're about escaping the hum-drum or stress of our regular lives for a couple of hours. I'm looking forward to this movie (and the couple of dozen others just like it that will be out this summer) and I'll be enjoying their weak, cliched storylines, while you can suffer through some well-written and depressing drama about real-life down at the Cinema 21.
2
jbruner97, why not use the search function and read his other reviews? Your comment is missing its intended mark. Erik loves explosions!
3
At least now they can blame the impending box office failure on the swine flu pandemic. Wolverine was lucky to have developed the amnesia that spared him from remembering the insipid travesty that is this film's plot.
4
What does it say about me that I REALLY think the headline should be "X-hausted?"
5
Also, I will never forgive them for how they mangled Wade Wilson. How hard is it to make a convincing physically mangled, cancer ridden killing machine with a nearly indestructible healing factor?
6
Pretty hard, apparently. I guess Ryan Reynolds has been lobbying for years to play Deadpool, too--and this is what he ended up with.
7
Erik, I found your review or more likely, personal opinion, of Wolverine offensive. What, may I ask, do you expect from a comic book blockbuster? Depth, intellect, tragedy. Please, it's a comic book adventure for Gods sake!!!! I'm a 58 year old women who can see a movie like Wolverine for exactly what it is and frankly, I loved it. I could have spent another 2 hours lost in fantacy with Huge Jackmans biceps. Obviously this isn't your genre so leave the comic book/blockbuster reviews for someone who gets it!!!!
8
I can't believe how horrible the special effects were in this film. I mean all I really ask of my superhero action type movies is decent special effects. At one point in the movie his blade/claws looked like someone had drawn them in as an after thought. Oh yea and the plot sucked etc etc.
This film has no real plot, no real script, and no real cinematic value whatsoever. Erik, the discerning critic that he is, managed to somehow discern this through watching it and in turn wrote exactly the kind of review this movie deserves. Just because your 20 some brood gets to see one movie a month due to the fact that "it's real hard to take 24 kids to a movie screening on welfare, heee-yuck", doesn't mean the movies you see are good. Just because they have explosions doesn't make them entertaining. Perhaps they are to you, and for that I pity you. However, being 'offended' by a well written review of a weak incarnation of one of comic books most beloved super heroes is depressing at best. I'm sure Spiderman was far too talky for you, and Star Trek will most likely confuse the fuck out of you. For that, you garner my pity. My only question is,gmason and jbruner97, Gresham or Troutdale?

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