We historians generally don't condemn a filmmaker for taking creative license with anachronisms as long as the movie is good. But let's face it: A Knight's Tale is no Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Lest this stinking abomination of a film lead hundreds of students to think Geoffrey Chaucer was a naked gambler who forged documents for money, here is a brief list of the films' more egregious historical errors:

• There was no such thing as the "World Championships" of jousting in London--jousts were held in the countryside, not in densely populated cities.

• These were not "Golden Years," as suggested by David Bowie's song on the soundtrack; these were peak years of the bubonic plague.

• Dreadlocks, mullets, neon hair dye, mousse, curlers, whitened teeth, glittery face paint, and see-through Chinese silk dresses did not exist in medieval Europe.

• Jocelyn, the dark and gaunt object of male desire, hardly fits the medieval ideal of feminine beauty: She would have had plucked and lightened eyebrows and eyelashes, extremely pale and powdered skin, and a round, protruding belly.

• In medieval literature, we wouldn't get a cheery ending. Medieval romance was all about pain--the kind that never ends (just like the length of this film).

• Modern colloquialisms like "Allllll RIGHT!" and "YeeEESS!!" (accompanied by upturned thumbs and fist-pumping) were unknown in Middle English.

• Edward the Black Prince would not have shown mercy to a peasant; he was infamous for his cruelty--most notably the slaughter of the entire population of Limoges, France.

• Most regrettably, the whole premise of the film is faulty: Squires were members of the lower nobility, not peasants. No thatcher's son would be familiar with armor and sword, let alone know how to ride a horse.

• Queen's "We Will Rock You" was written half a millennium later. Philistines!