THE anti-sad

For the Mercury's SAD Issue, we thought about highlighting the saddest movies ever. But that was too depressing—there's only so much Requiem for a Dream one can take, you know? So, instead, and in our own gleeful self-interest... the six best cheer-up films of all time, which, not-so-coincidentally, are playing at the Mercury's Prozac Film Festival, which starts Friday, February 3 at the Clinton St. Theater!

• Teen Wolf (1985)—This is the Finest Film Ever Made, and anyone who says otherwise is a filthy goddamn liar. It's got Michael J. Fox! As a werewolf! Who breakdances! And surfs! On a van! Awesome!

Jackass: The Movie (2002)—Ah, it's good to see you again, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam, and sweet, wee Wee Man! And it's even better seeing you electrocute your taints. And snort wasabi. And eat snow with pee in it. And tease alligators. And so forth. And so on.

Starship Troopers (1997)—No, no, wait! This is the Finest Film Ever Made, and anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot! Paul Verhoeven's ultra-violent, ultra-campy sci-fi action epic conveniently doubles as a searing satire of patriotic militarism! Also: alien monsters! Also: Doogie Howser! Also: tits!

Beetlejuice (1988)—Remember when Tim Burton made good movies? So do we, which is why we're screening one of his best—the weird, funny, creepy Beetlejuice, featuring a hilarious Michael Keaton and my future wife, Winona Ryder.

Blue Velvet (1986)—Go ahead: Try and name a better film having to do with a severed ear, a huffing Dennis Hopper, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. David Lynch's most famous film manages to be both really disturbing and really fun (in a really disturbing way).

• Bring It On (2000)—Mercury writer Chas Bowie is inexplicably in love with Bring It On's Kirsten Dunst, who happens to be a total uggo. Which means that even if you don't like cheerleader comedies starring totally uggo actresses, watching Bowie swoon (over an uggo!) should still cheer you up! Eh? Get it? Cheer you up? Haw! What, that's not funny? Whatever. Shut up, dick. P.S.: Kirsten Dunst is ugly. ERIK HENRIKSEN