It's time for round two of classic un-classic horror flicks. That means in order to enjoy them this Halloween, the following are required: friends, patience, Mad Dog 20/20, and that one fat guy whose only talent is shouting clever things at your TV.

- They Live (1988)--John Carpenter gets Orwellian on your ass! In a hilarious attempt to approach a philosophical treatise on capitalism and conformism, They Live tells the tale of a world where the rich are getting richer and the poor poorer. Why is this? Why, aliens have secretly infiltrated the earth! Super sunglasses help working class hero Nada (pro wrestler "Rowdy" Roddy Piper) see the acid-faced aliens, as well as the subliminal messages they have plastered everywhere ("consume" and "reproduce"). Then some alien murderin' ensues, Nada forgets how to run, and viewers are allowed to behold the most outlandish fight scene ever filmed.

- Tales from the Hood (1995)-- This gross-but-funny flick has four tales of terror relayed by a cracked-out mortician (Clarence Williams III) to some gangsta kids who come to a funeral home to pick up drugs (don't ask). Most of the stories share the common theme of "retribution on whitey." I think the first time I saw this film was in a women's studies class.

- Sleepaway Camp (1983)--Welcome to Camp Arawak--where boys with shorts higher than their crotches and burgeoning teen hormones set the perfect scene for some slice-and-dice action. Poor Angela (Felissa Rose) watched her family get all hacked up under a boat, and now she's sent to camp right next to the lake where it happened! Gross! She's all awkward and won't talk to anybody (except a boy she Frenches--but she won't let him touch her boobies), and she's relentlessly picked on. Luckily, her dreamy little cousin Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) protects her when the gruesome crimes start! Sadistic treats include some awesome weapons (including a hot curling iron) and the best ending ever.