Sure, George Lucas is making a big fat to-do about how Episode III--Revenge of the Sith is the final Star Wars movie. But he's also promised the saga will continue on TV. It's enough to scare the bejeezus out of any Star Wars fan--previous attempts to put Star Wars on the small screen have, by and large, been nothing short of excruciating.

Ewok Adventures (1984, 1985)--There's a rumor that Drew Barrymore plays the little girl in these children's TV movies, which have recently been released on DVD. It's not true. Instead, there are only the painfully annoying Ewoks, glorified Teddy Ruxpins who like to ride on Shetland ponies and play with magical fairies (the fairies, by the way, feed off of giggles). Not only does the guy who played the principal in The Breakfast Club show up for a bit, but so does a shameless Wilford Brimley. He's a real hardass at first, too--maybe Brimley's grumpy because Ewoks require neither Quaker Oatmeal nor diabetes-testing supplies.

Clone Wars (2003, 2005)--In the one Star Wars TV venture that turned out well, acclaimed animator Genndy Tartakovsky (Samurai Jack) directed a series of shorts that bridge Episodes II and III. Stylish visuals, nonstop action, and a smart sense of fun make these shorts definitely worth a DVD rental.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)--Lucasfilm pretty much denies this astonishingly awful cash-in even exists--it's never been rebroadcast, nor released on video. An embarrassed-looking Mark Hamill, along with Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, visits Chewbacca's family to celebrate the Wookiee holiday of "Life Day"--which apparently consists of stupid songs and awkward cameos from Bea Arthur and Jefferson Starship. It's a testament to the terrifying omnipotence of Lucas that pretty much every copy of the Holiday Special has been destroyed--but if you're a geeky masochist of the strongest variety, it's easy to dredge up on eBay.