The Passion of the Christ

dir. Gibson

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Jewish theologians have made a lot of hay recently about the anti-Semitic overtones of Mel Gibson's biblical drama, The Passion of the Christ--and they're right. The film is anti-Semitic. Even more surprisingly, it's hugely anti-Christian, as well. In fact, it's just about anti-EVERYTHING, except anti-blood, guts, and gore. This is the story of Christ as told by Quentin Tarantino's evil twin, and to sum it all up? It's the world's first Christian snuff film; two full hours of Jesus Christ getting his ass KICKED.

Since Gibson embraces the presumptuous notion that Christ is automatically the Messiah, he foregoes any character development and jumps right into the action. When the Jewish high priests get jealous of Christ's popularity with the kids, they pay 30 pieces of silver for pal Judas to narc him out. Meanwhile, Jesus knows the gig's up, and wrestles with the temptation to run away (provided by Satan, who Gibson portrays--unsurprisingly--as a woman). However, when J.C. decides to stick around, that's when the sadistic fun begins!

After a couple sessions of kangaroo court, Jesus is beaten, spat upon, and caned from head to toe. Then he's lacerated by hook-laden whips until most of the skin is removed from his body. Then he's beaten bloody some more and forced to wear a crown of thorns. Then he's made to carry his cross through the streets, where he's beaten yet AGAIN, before finally being allowed to lie on the cross--where they dislocate his shoulders, nail his palms to the wood, and stab him in the spleen. Did I mention this isn't such a good date movie?

The Passion has twice the blood and gore of any Tarantino film--but without an ounce of compassion for its hero. Other than a few flashbacks where Jesus teaches his followers to be nice to each other, the entire film revolves solely around the slow torturous mutilation of a human being. And the gore is so brutal and unrelenting, you can't help but suspect that Gibson secretly loves it. This is a Hollywood-produced snuff flick--yet also explains why Christianity has turned into the most fucked-up religion in the world.