Christopher Walken: Praise Him

Weapon of Choice
starring Christopher Walken
(dir. Spike Jonze)

Christopher Walken is about as perfect a specimen of human life that ever walked. People are only truly beautiful when they're truly strange and Walken is positively peculiar--hypnotically so. The only man who could have accurately played both Jesus Christ and Satan would be Christopher Walken ("I'm the Antichrist," he told Dennis Hopper in True Romance, and we believed him).

There is something about his gorgeous bone structure, sunken eyes, tall, graceful gait, staggered speaking manner, impish grin, and hair, ALWAYS coolly coifed hair that transfers him from film star to icon. Erotic religious icon. All you Christopher Walken fetishists out there understand what I'm talking about. The man is not only an American original, an extraordinary actor, but sexier than... well, hell... that other icon, Elvis Presley, an entertainer who Walken, not coincidentally, reveres. Not coincidentally because Elvis had the moves. So does Walken. Have you noticed? In his earlier career, Dr. Strange was a hoofer on Broadway. He also brilliantly played a dancing pimp in Pennies from Heaven. Watch the dance steps he admits to putting into almost every one of his films lest a bastard director leave them on the cutting-room floor (CW doesn't like it when that happens).

But for now, most importantly, stay at home to watch one of the most impressive performances in this Oscar winner's career--a movie? Nope. A music video. But not just ANY music video--a video event. The song: "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim. The director: Spike Jonze. The star: Who do you think?

But here's the ingenious, career-making twist. Without one word of dialogue, Christopher Walken, alone, dances through the entire video. Jonze, who made that genius, weirdo actor movie Being John Malkovich and who also directed Fatboy Slim's hilarious "Praise You," showcases the actor's stepping talents with jaw-dropping celestial sublimity. Walken moves with menace, charm, humor, glee, and eroticism as he grooves, tap dances, leaps, does an Ariel (!) and even flies (which I believe he is actually doing) in beautiful, signature style. Can I truly explain his awe-inspiring moves? No. You just have to see it to believe it.

So, don't work. Sit at home, keep your channel on MTV, and wait to immerse yourself in this Astaire-gone-goombah work of wonderment (or go to Truly, under five minutes, Walken makes the greatest musical of the last 30 years. Praise him.