Snakes “Why didn't you ask for the white guy's ID?”

This is not a review of Snakes on a Plane, the pulpy Samuel L. Jackson flick that's already built up an insane amount of internet buzz—most of it thanks to the film's ludicrous conceit and the promise of Jackson shouting something about wanting some motherfucking snakes off a goddamn plane.

But while New Line Cinema refused to screen the film for critics, they did offer an interview with Australian actor Nathan Phillips. In Snakes, Phillips (at right, with Jackson) plays a witness flying from Hawaii to LA under the protection of an FBI agent (Jackson)—and things only get crazier when hundreds of poisonous snakes take over the plane!

MERCURY: I heard a snake bites a woman's breast in the movie. Does that really happen?

NATHAN PHILLIPS: Don't we want to say it does? Don't we want me to say it does?

I want to hear that it happens!

I'm not gonna let you down! Yes!

Is that a Cleopatra reference? 'Cause I think that's how Cleopatra died.

That's very true.

Awesome.

I just think it's a good chance for a bit of boob. Maybe we could make it a bit more cinema-like, and get into the semiotics and the contextual relations the film has, but nah, let's keep it simple—it was a cheap, cheap, nasty shot.

That's all I want—cheap, nasty shots.

Me too!

Do you think Snakes on a Plane is going to inspire terrorists to put snakes on planes in real life?

I definitely think people are going to become more [familiar with] the concept of flying with snakes. It'll get people to think of other stuff now—not just terrorists, but snakes. I think that's a positive thing. Now no one can carry on luggage, but what if a little kid wanted to take their pet snake on? That could be—

I'm not getting on any plane where there's a pet snake.

There we go, see? So who knows? Terrorists, snakes—it's all a bunch of the same.

So which do you think is scarier—a terrorist or a snake?

Aw, definitely a terrorist.

Yeah? What if there were snake terrorists?

It could happen.

I think that would be terrifying.

Yeah. Thank you. You've just made me not sleep tonight.