THURSDAY, JULY 26
9:00 SCIFI WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?
Season premiere! Dorks dress up as superheroes and compete in challenges in this cheesy, sweet reality show!
10:00 BRAVO WELCOME TO THE PARKER
Debut! Think running a fancy hotel is easy? Of course you don't. Anyway, this show is about that.
FRIDAY, JULY 27
8:00 FOX AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER—Movie
(2002) Austin's dad is kidnapped, which means it's back to 1975 to battle the filthily named Goldmember.
Germaphobe detective Monk visits a nudist colony to solve a murder while avoiding nude cooties.
SATURDAY, JULY 28
8:00 FOX COPS
Season finale! A coast-to-coast exploration of why most felons are arrested without their shirt on.
SUNDAY, JULY 29
9:00 SPIKE THE KILL POINT
A wealthy businessman takes matters into his own hands when his daughter is taken hostage. (Kind of like Mel Gibson in Ransom, except not so drunk.)
10:00 A&E THE TWO COREYS
Debut! Slobby Corey Haim moves in with neat freak Corey Feldman. Let the washed-up celebrity hijinks ensue!
MONDAY, JULY 30
9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
The moms of the final three contestants are asked to judge their kids' entrees—blindfolded! ("Oh, mom... how could you?!")
TUESDAY, JULY 31
10:00 BRAVO FLIPPING OUT
Debut! A new reality show about an obsessive-compulsive "house flipper" and his beleaguered employees.
10:00 SPIKE MURDER
Debut! Amateur sleuths are called in to solve actual murders. This must make the grieving families feel so much better.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 1
8:00 MYTV GEORGE MICHAEL IN CONCERT
It might be a good idea if they get someone to drive him to the concert, yes?
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
In this fun series set in the '60s, secretary Peggy is hit on by all the guys in the office (nowadays known as "sexual harassment").