THURSDAY, JULY 10
8:00 CBS GREATEST AMERICAN DOG
Debut! Owners and pets live and compete together in one giant kennel. Hope somebody brought the Renuzit.
10:00 USA BURN NOTICE
Season premiere! An ex-CIA spy becomes a Miami private dick in this wittier-than-average show.
FRIDAY, JULY 11
10:00 CBS FLASHPOINT
Debut! A new show about an elite SWAT team starring Amy Jo Johnson... omigod! She's the pink Power Ranger!!
10:00 SCIFI STARGATE ATLANTIS
Season premiere! I'm only listing this because you're a big nerd, and I love you.
SATURDAY, JULY 12
8:30 MTV THE REAL WORLD REUNION
The gang gets together to relive their most memor-able vomits.
SUNDAY, JULY 13
8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER
Season premiere! Acck! It's like herpes! It just keeps coming back!
9:00 HBO GENERATION KILL
Debut! Embedded journalist Evan Wright turns his great book about the war in Iraq into this great miniseries.
MONDAY, JULY 14
9:00 TNT THE CLOSER
Season premiere! Kyra Sedgwick returns as the detective who loves coffee... because coffee is for closers! GET IT?! Oh, never mind.
10:00 E! THE SOUP PRESENTS
Another very funny retrospective of the year's most foul-mouthed celebrities!
TUESDAY, JULY 15
10:00 A&E THE CLEANER
A former doper tries to help other dopers in this new show starring Benjamin Bratt and... Boomer from BSG?!? EEEE!!!!
10:00 MTV FROM Gs TO GENTS
Debut! A new reality show that tries to teach manners to thugs. Hmmmm... racist much?
WEDNESDAY, JULY 16
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
The top 10 dancers (who apparently really think they can dance) perform.
9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
Season premiere! Sixteen new designers try to "make it work, people!"