THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
When Mac's dad is released from prison, Mac and Charlie try to avoid him by faking their deaths.
11:00 BRAVO TIM GUNN'S GUIDE TO STYLE
Debut! The Project Runway fashion maven works over a new dumpy gal every week. "Make it work... person."
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3
8:00 CW EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS
Season premiere! Chris is psyched for his first day of high school—until he learns everybody hates him there, too.
9:00 SCIFI SANCTUARY
Debut! The popular web-series hits the tube with sexy girls with guns fighting monsters and aliens. Nerdgasm!
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4
11:00 SHOW LOUIS C.K.: CHEWED UP
A new comedy special featuring America's favorite foul-mouthed schlub!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5
8:00 CW VALENTINE
Debut! A family of Greek gods take it upon themselves to hook up normal mortals. Thanks, Greek gods!
9:00 CW EASY MONEY
Debut! Laurie (Roseanne) Metcalf stars in this potential winner about a family of loan sharks.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 6
9:00 NBC HEROES
While trying to save the world, Peter takes on a horrifying new ability. Let's just say it has something to do with flatulence.
10:00 VH1 HIP HOP HONORS
An award ceremony celebrating music's true pioneers, including De La Soul, Slick Rick, and Naughty by Nature!
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7
6:00 ALL NETS PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
Hey, McCain! Here's a good excuse for you to miss this one: your colostomy bag broke!
9:00 BRAVO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA
Debut! Just like The Real Housewives of Orange County—except slightly more black.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8
9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
Part one of the season finale, when the top three strut their stuff at Bryant Park!
10:30 COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM
Season premiere! Sarah gets high for the first time and leaves herself a voicemail that she definitely shouldn't listen to.