Thursday, November 28

9:00 am <>NBC THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADEDon't miss the new J.LO float (and believe me, it's gonna take at least 20 people to hold that booty down!).

8:00 FOX STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE--MovieThe first episode in the Star Wars saga, in which a young Darth Vader learns how "the force" can really impress the chicks.

Friday, November 29

8:00 <>NBC VERY MERRY MUPPET CHRISTMAS--Movie(2002) Kermit and the gang get screwed over by an evil bank exec in this new TV movie starring Joan Cusack, William H. Macy... and Carson Daly?!?

8:00 FOX STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN--MovieCap'n Kirk gets a good ol' ass whuppin' from Ricardo Montalban (whose pecs look AWESOME in that furry vest)!

Saturday, November 30

10:00 am <>FOX ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIESArchie and the gang are baffled when weird, curly hairs start growing inside their shorts.

8:00 CBS ICE WARS: USA VS. THE WORLDIt's World War III, figure skating style!

Sunday, December 1

9:00 <>HBO THE SOPRANOSI only have one question: Can we please see somebody get murdered again this week? I'm addicted to the "whack!"

10:00 ABC THE PRACTICEThe firm defends an airline that refuses to carry Arabs.

Monday, December 2

8:00 <> FOX BOSTON PUBLICIt's another tough day for the teachers when their students go on strike, and refuse to keep sleeping with them.

Tuesday, December 3

9:00 <>FOX 24Just when Jack gets close to discovering the location of the nuclear bomb, President Bush decides to steal it and drop it on Iraq.

8:00 PAX WEAKEST LINK: COLLEGE CHEERLEADING EDITIONHot coeds face off in a battle of the brains.

Wednesday, December 4

9:00 NBC THE WEST WINGPresident Bartlet notices his popularity points falling when he begins using words containing more than two syllables.

8:00 WB LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS--PreviewMichael Rosenbaum drools over the film's upcoming release for an hour.