Thursday, January 308:00 NBC FRIENDSAfter a night of karaoke, Monica thinks she's hot snot on china, when in actuality, she's a cold booger on a paper plate.

9:00 WB THE SURREAL LIFEWhen the gang loses all their money in Vegas, Hammer is forced to bet his parachute pants.


January 31




Van and Deaque must put on their trendiest clothes to catch a cop killer.

8:00 BET DISORDERLIES--Movie(1987) '80s rap group, The Fat Boys are hired by a hospital to take care of a millionaire. See, that's what we're missing from today's movies: REALISM.

Saturday, February 18:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORYA behind-the-scenes peek at The Gong Show, which can't be as depressing as the George Clooney version.

10:00 ANI ULTIMATE ANIMAL ODDITIESGraphic examples of forbidden love in nature! Including: crow and kitten, duck and dog, and wiener dog and cordless phone.


February 29:00 ABC ALIASSydney is assigned to discover two things about special guest star Ethan Hawke: Is he a double agent, and what's with the crooked teeth?

10:00 NBC KINGPINDebut! A powerful drug family takes on the DEA in this TV remake of Scarface.

Monday, February 38:00 NBC FEAR FACTORIn this episode entitled the "All Gross Show," contestants bob for objects in a 50-gallon tub of cow's blood. Yup, that's gross, all right.

Tuesday, February 48:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYERAfter kissing one of the slayers in training, Willow goes through a strange transformation (not heterosexuality, I assume).

9:30 NBC A.U.S.A.Debut! A new comedy about the assistant U.S. attorney's office, starring Jennifer Garner's hottie hubby, Scott Foley.

Wednesday, February 59:00 WB ANGELAngel's a bloodthirsty killer again, so the gang tosses him into a cage until he learns some manners.

9:00 FOX BERNIE MACBernie offends Wanda's new boss, who turns out to be (gulp!) Wesley Snipes?!?