Thursday, July 24

8:00 WB FEAR--Movie (1996) Marky Mark stars as the bad boyfriend who rocks Reese Witherspoon's box on a roller-coaster. DIRTY!

10:00 TNN REN & STIMPY ADULT CARTOON PARTY A day at the beach is ruined when Ren and Stimpy use it as their own personal litter box.

Friday, July 25

8:00 TRIO BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS Don't miss this rare late '70s reality show pitting network celebrities (Gabe Kaplan, Robert Conrad, Adrienne Barbeau) in athletic competitions! Hee-larious!

10:00 MTV SPIDER-MAN When KGB agents take over a TV station, Spidey kicks some Rooskie ass!

Saturday, July 26

9:00 TNN MOST EXTREME ELIMINATION

Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship are your hosts for Japan's favorite "contestants fall and split their heads open" game show.

10:00 COM SOUTH PARK It's "intervention time" for Cartman when he gets shipped off to Fat Camp.

Sunday, July 27

10:00 FX NIP/TUCK Debut! Two plastic surgeons try to patch up their fawked-up lives in this super dirty/gross new series!

10:30 HBO PROJECT GREENLIGHT The novice directors watch their movie being taken away from them one bureaucratic decision at a time. Welcome to Hollywood, jackasses!

Monday, July 28

8:00 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM Larry's therapy is set back three years when he witnesses his psychiatrist on the beach wearing a thong.

Tuesday, July 29

8:00 BRAVO BOY MEETS BOY Debut! Your average dating show where one boy picks his soul mate from 15 other boys--except some of the boys are straight!

10:00 A&E MI-5 If you like Alias, check out this new super-spy series set in jolly old England!

Wednesday, July 30

8:00 NBC RACE TO THE ALTAR Debut! Engaged couples compete to get their nuptials designed by a fancy-pants wedding planner. Five bucks says one of the grooms kills himself.

10:30 COM RENO 911! The cops try not to laugh when the mayor's kid uses fireworks to blow off his fingers.

And don't miss Boy Meets Boy on Tuesday! steve@portlandmercury.com