Thursday, October 9 8:00 CBS SURVIVOR The tribe members plan a mutiny when the fat hippie dude starts a drum circle.

10:00 NBC E.R. Abby gets a "Dear John" letter from Dr. Carter. Shouldn't that be "Dr. John"? Or is it "Nurse John"? I'm so confused!


October 10 8:00 NBC MISS MATCH Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia from Angel) pops out of her coma for a guest shot on this week's episode!

8:00 CBS JOAN OF ARCADIA God asks Joan to learn how to play chess. Holy Christ! Who is this God, anyway?!? Adolph Hitler??

Saturday, October 11 8:00 TLC TRADING SPACE$ 100 GRAND Two unworthy neighbors are given $50,000 each to redecorate each other's pads. Meanwhile, my coke room looks like crap!

8:30 COM RENO 911! The Office of Homeland Security teaches the department how to react to a terrorist attack. Osama bin Laden? Watch your ass!


October 12 8:00 USA SCARFACE--Movie (1983) Tony Montana invites some uninvited house guests to say "hello" to his "leedle friend."

9:00 ABC ALIAS Naughty sparks fly when Syd and Vaughn go on a romantic suicidal mission.


October 13 9:00 COM KNEE HIGH P.I. --Movie (2003) A midget detective uses martial arts to fight crime. Did I miss the "midgets are funny again" memo?


October 14 8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Dean has the balls to invite ex-girlfriend Rory to his wedding--which is exactly where he should be kicked.

10:00 A&E MI-5 Harry unwisely enlists a pimple-covered teen to spy on a dangerous arms dealer.

Wednesday, October 15 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE While protecting Lex, Clark gets shot with a kryptonite bullet. (Which means he'll probably be taking off his shirt. Better pack another pair of pants, folks!)

9:00 WB ANGEL Angel and the gang protect a werewolf from a bunch of evil restaurateurs who want to put wolfie on their menu! (This sounds like a "jump the shark" episode if there ever was one!)