Thursday, November 13 8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS The two tribes finally merge. Let the backstabbing begin!

8:00 FOX TRU CALLING Tru agrees to help a dead person get revenge on the person who killed him--but first? He has to put on some deodorant.


November 14 9:00 SPIKE STAR TREK: NEXT GENERATION The Borg returns and Data gets advice from his sexy mentor, Stephen Hawking. Rrrrowwrrrr!

10:00 E! IT'S GOOD TO BEÉ A peek into the lives of America's favorite almost-legal twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Saturday, November 15 8:00 ABC THE CHALLENGE--Movie (2003) The Olsen twins star as twins competing in a TV reality show--who hate each others stinking guts. Once again, no acting required.

8:00 MTV EUROPE MUSIC AWARDS Oh, please! Europe hasn't produced a decent band since Dexy's Midnight Runners. Next!

Sunday, November 16 8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS Lisa stages a revolt at school, with assistance from tubby activist Michael Moore!

9:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT It's official! Don't miss the only hee-larious sitcom of the season! ('Cuz it'll probably be canceled in another couple of weeks.)

Monday, November 17 10:00 ABC BRITNEY SPEARS: IN THE ZONE Clips of her concert, and behind the scenes shenanigans attempt to prove that Spears is capable of getting anywhere near the "zone."

Tuesday, November 18 8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS The girls make the unfortunate bet that they can keep their fucking mouths shut for 25 minutes.

9:00 FOX 24 In an attempt to stop the bio-virus that was hidden in a bag of cocaine, Jack busts out his sniffing spoon.

Wednesday, November 19 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE Lionel Luthor tries to toss Lex into the insane asylumÉ let's hope it's the sexy "no shirt" asylum!

10:00 CBS VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW In a desperate attempt to get ratings, CBS features Victoria's Secret (which if you didn't know, is genital warts).