Thursday, Nov. 27 8:00 TBS A CHRISTMAS STORY--Movie (1983) The classic tale of Ralphie and his quest for a Red Ryder BB gun (starring the #3 greatest actor of all time, Darren McGavin)!

8:30 COM CONAN O'BRIEN 10th ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL Don't miss this gut-busting repeat of Conan's tenth, featuring Triumph the Comic Insult Dog!

Friday, Nov. 28 8:00 CBS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN A cold-hearted snowman comes to life, and spends his entire winter breaking girls' hearts.

8:00 NBC JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DOWN HOME IN MEMPHIS Justin performs a concert in Tennessee, while trying to avoid the amorous intentions of his hillbilly cousins.

Saturday, Nov. 29 9:00 CBS ICE WARS X: NORTH AMERICA VS. THE WORLD It's not enough that Bush has gotten us involved with Iraq? Now he's turned all the figure skaters against us!

Sunday, Nov. 30 9:00 WB CHRISTINA AGUILERA: STRIPPED IN LONDON And after being "stripped," she's gleefully agrees to a cavity search. (Believe me, it's something you don't want to see.)

9:00 ABC ALIAS In order to retrieve her lost memories, Syd agrees to experimental brain surgery. Fine, just don't touch the body!

9:30 FOX ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT It's the holidays, and Michael is accused of being a cold-hearted sonofabitch (primarily, because he is a cold-hearted sonofabitch).

Monday, Dec. 1 9:30 PBS JOHNNY CASH ANTHOLOGY Featuring film footage and recordings, this documentary paints a fond picture of the "man in black."

Tuesday, Dec. 2 8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS Stock up on your Thorazine! Here comes the most depressing Christmas special EVER!

8:30 FOX THE SIMPLE LIFE Debut! Socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie move in with a farm family. This episode: Paris suggests making a home porn movie.

Wednesday, Dec. 3 8:00 WB SMALLVILLE Dr. Walden awakens from his coma, and exposes Clark's greatest secret: that he looks incredible without a shirt!

9:00 FOX THE O.C. Ryan is expecting a normal family Christmas, in which everybody gets drunk and breaks dishes over his head.