THURSDAY, AUGUST 5 8:00 WB BLUE COLLAR TV Debut! A new sketch comedy show spotlighting redneck comedians. Why can't they just bring back Hee Haw? 9:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING The results are in, and we'll finally discover which of the unfunny comics is the funniest of all.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 6 8:00 TNT RAMBO III--Movie (1988) Rambo leaves the Buddhist monastery to save his old Green Beret mentor from the Soviets. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE??? 8:00 MTV FIRST-EVER REALITY AWARDS Reality show contestants get 20 more seconds tacked on to their 15 minutes of fame.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 7 8:00 FOOD MR. IRON CHEF The Iron Chefs compete against each other to see who gets to be called "Mr. Iron Chef" (actually, that's "Mr. Iron Chef, Bitch"). 9:00 SCIFI RESIDENT EVIL--Movie (2002) Hotsy-totsy Milla Jovovich runs for her sexy life from a bunch of scientifically screwed-up zombies.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 8 8:00 ABC X GAMES X Dude! Like, it's the most extreeeeeme X Games comp, like, EVER! Awwwwwwesome! 8:00 A&E TEEN THRILL KILLERS Dude! Like, killing people for a thrill is, like, so extreeeeme! I mean, like, awwwwwwesome!

MONDAY, AUGUST 9 8:00 E! BIG EVENTS GONE BAD Video footage of concerts, conventions, and J.Lo's wedding gone horribly wrong!

TUESDAY, AUGUST 10 8:00 FOX TRADING SPOUSES: MEET YOUR NEW MOMMY After switching households, the mommies find new and devious ways of torturing the spoiled rotten kids. 9:30 COM SOUTH PARK In this hee-larious repeat, the gang forms a boy band, giving it the greatest band name ever, "Fingerbang."

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 11 8:00 UPN AMISH IN THE CITY The Amish kids continue their adventures in Los Angeles in this episode entitled, "What Exactly is Crack?" 8:00 FOX 2004 TEEN CHOICE AWARDS Teens choose and award their favorite things in the world, with this year's "Lifetime Achievement" award going to "Smoking Cigarettes Underneath the Bleachers."