THURSDAY, MAY 12

8:00 FOX THE O.C. Nerdy Seth creams his Dockers when director George Lucas shows interest in his comic book!

10:00 BRAVO PROJECT GREENLIGHT Season Finale! After months of hard work, Matt and Ben's pet film project is complete--and heading straight to video.

FRIDAY, MAY 13

8:00 FOX X-MEN--Movie (2000) A team of genetically mutated superheroes wonders why regular humans hate them (because you're HOT, dumbass)!

9:00 UPN STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE Series Finale! Archer and crew are ordered back to earth when an overdosed donkey is found onboard.

SATURDAY, MAY 14

8:00 SPIKE CARPOCALYPSE Revenge rears its very ugly head when one of the hillbilly's demolition racecars is sabotaged!

8:00 TOON STAR WARS: CLONE WARS Fine! Call me a nerd! But I LOVE these short Star Wars-y cartoons! (Okay, you can stop calling me a nerd now.)

SUNDAY, MAY 15

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: PALAU Season Finale! Find out which of the drippy, undeserving castaways wins a million bucks.

10:00 VH1 B.S.T.V. Debut! A new prank show that tricks people into thinking they're auditioning for a reality series! Hilarity and humiliation ensue!

MONDAY, MAY 16

9:00 CBS EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND Series Finale! The final episode of the only series more annoying than Star Trek.

TUESDAY, MAY 17

8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS Season Finale! Lorelei flips her wig after learning Rory plans to run off with her no-good rich boyfriend.

9:00 UPN BRITNEY AND KEVIN: CHAOTIC Debut! Crappy home movies of Britney and Kevin sitting around on their big fat asses. Can you handle the truth?!?

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18

8:00 ABC LOST The castaways poop their pants when the crazy French woman pops in to warn them of "the others."

8:00 WB SMALLVILLE Season Finale! On graduation day, Clark learns why he's on earth. Fine, but what he really wanted was a car.