If you have never had a meal at John James Cafe, you are simple letting the best in life pass you bye, that said, I must take exception with this review. I am painfully aware of the fact that most food reviewers must make snarky comments with glib references that elevate their street cred. First and foremost, don't do that, it just makes you look small minded and shallow. John James Cafe, and by extension their real customer base, is not impressed by your ham handed attempts at relevancy by shitting on hard working small business owners that actually get it, by delivering a great product at a fair price. Pay attention, I am educating you...you really need to dig deeply into the story before you pass judgement and make a buffoon out of yourself.

Great review for a great business! Love them!

Wtf are you referring to dwts? Did we real the same article? All I recall is how delicious they sound and how good for St Johns they are....it's a positive review.

DWTS is dead on. This was one big offhanded compliment, like saying, "those shoes look nice...on your nasty feet". My problem with this article is that if you don't like a place you're reviewing then just say so, don't bash it on the sly; that's just weak.


To show what I mean here are some of the highlights that especially stuck out from the article. The author used the following words to describe the place;
'unassuming'...'hole in the wall'...'oddness'...'mania'...'willfully idiosyncratic',

The author also insulted at the décor, the location and the menu;

Saying about the menu
"...there's no logical path, Did it make sense? No.", and "The menu itself is written on a chalkboard and placed on a chair by the table, a procedure I've personally never been fond of."

And about the décor
"The décor, much like the menu, is quirky"

And about the wine list
They'll get to it when they're ready it seems

And what is that bit about the location having been a bank (who the fuck cares, Portlanders will wait in line to eat pizza out of what looks to have been a garage if it tastes amazing.)

Luckily the type of person who creates something as astounding as James John Café could give two shits what someone who doesn't have a clue how much an investment a wine selection is and how much money it costs to replace a whole inventory, thinks.

What I don't get is, this person doesn't seem to like food very much. Why are they writing a food article.

"I am educating you...you really need to dig deeply into the story before you pass judgement and make a buffoon out of yourself."

I can't tell if this is an example of expert trolling or just standard issue douchebaggery. Either way, bravo! It's people like you who make me smile the most.