Lutz Tavern, 4639 SE Woodstock, 774-0353, Wed 11 am-midnight, Miller $1.25, Sun 11 am-midnight, $1 off micros

The Lutz is an amazing old-school dive where Bukowski would have fought, fallen in love, passed out, and written sexist poetry. That is, if he'd lived in Portland and it wasn't overrun by those nefarious Reedies. Go early for the original townie feel. PAC

MacTarnahan's Taproom, 2730 NW 31st, 228-5269, daily 3-6 pm & 9-close, 20-ounce pints $3, cheap food

Mac's makes some mighty fine brews and you can taste 'em all in this lodge-like setting. It's the kind of place where Sophocles might have indulged his beer diet while writing the next tragic drama. That is, if he wore Eddie Bauer instead of a toga and lived in Northwest Portland. PAC

The Maiden, 639 SE Morrison, 232-5553, Mon-Sat 4-6 pm, house sangria $5, bucket o' Sessions $6, bucket o' Corona $10, $1 off wells

The Maiden doesn't smell of sea foam and wet wood, but you definitely get that nautical idea. New owners mean new menu and live music. It's the kind of place Hemingway might have gone to sip sangria and dream of the ocean. That is, if he hadn't shot himself in the face. PAC

Madison's Grill, 1109 SE Madison, 230-2471, daily 3-6 pm, two-for-one appetizers

If you don't mind sitting in a room that looks like Aunt Peggy's den, Madison's Grill is a perfectly fine place to spend an afternoon. What it lacks in edge, it makes up for in food and beverages. It's the kind of place John Irving.... Aw, fuck it. SB