The Purple Parlor
3560 N Mississippi Ave

Let's make something clear. Vegan/vegetarian food can be just as good as carnivorian food. The Purple Parlor does little to support this argument. Located in a deceptively charming Victorian house, PP features a very inexpensive menu, mostly stocked with veggie products. None of them are very good.

The Greek Scramble, for example, was suspicious on arrival, as the eggs were a strange grayish-yellow, and oddly balled into hard, pea-like shapes. Feta was promised, but the GS was delivered with only a few miniscule crumblings of cheese, accompanied by some limp spinach and diced tomatoes; In fact, the only detectable flavor in the dish was salt. The scramble was not offensive--but it was an obviously sophomoric attempt at scrambling.

The breakfast sandwich, a soy-based Egg McMuffin, initially shed a ray of hope onto an otherwise bland menu, because of the spicy soy sauce accompanying the non-meat patty and the scrambled egg. Sadly, the 'wiches enormous wheat bun soon began to takeover the taste. By the time I was done I had to drink one gallon of water to swallow each bite.

The biggest disappointment, however, was definitely the pumpkin pie. Being a lover of almost every pumpkin pie I've ever eaten (even the kind that comes from Safeway), I was sure this pie would be the Purple Parlor's saving grace. Untrue. The pie was served on a gummy, thin layer of crust. My guess is that it was either not baked all the way through, or made with some kind of vegan glue in the place of eggs. The pudding itself was a fine consistency, but metallically overspiced with nutmeg.

The coffee is good and plenty (Stumptown roasters, yum), as is the hot apple cider. Moreover, the atmosphere is adorable and inviting, and the people extremely friendly; PP could be great, if not for the food.