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Following the murder of 19 children and two teachers, Sen. Ted Cruz dreams of that sweet NRA money.
Following the murder of 19 children and two teachers, Sen. Ted Cruz dreams of that sweet NRA money. Jordan Vonderhaar / Getty News

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Heeeeey, if you're the type of person who likes "sexy," do not miss this weekend's final streaming edition of the 2022 HUMP! Film Festival! You can watch it in the comfort of your own home... or if you prefer, boudoir! (Ooh-la-la!) Now let's get down with some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• It's a lawsuit hat trick for violent repeat offender Portland police detective Erik Kammerer, who is being sued for the third time (!!) for the vicious way he has treated protesters. Our Alex Zielinski has the details.

• Related: The family of Kevin Peterson Jr.—the 21-year-old Black man who was killed in Vancouver by deputies as he ran away from them—are filing a wrongful death suit against the Clark County Sheriff's Office.

• You won't want to miss this terrific long-read from our Alex Zielinski which looks into a controversial new program from progressive MultCo DA Mike Schmidt... which might actually be more "REgressive" than he might think!

• If you're wondering how that calamitous mix-up happened in which some Oregon CBD products had actual THC in them (sending some customers to the hospital from overdoses), the O has tracked down what could have been the cause: an employee who "confused two similar buckets with nearly identical identification numbers."

• Get ready for the most SCANDALOUS edition yet of POP QUIZ PDX, featuring hilarious trivia Qs about local conservative dimwits, the guardians of Chinatown, and some very, VERY naughty individuals! 😲

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Here's the latest from the tragic elementary school massacre in Texas: Local police are under fire as parents are accusing members of the force for waiting almost an hour to rush in and save their children from the shooter who entered the school unobstructed and murdered 19 children and two teachers. Experts assert the cops were working against protocol. (Remind me again what we pay these people for?) Meanwhile, Republicans of all stripes—but particularly those in the Senate—are staunchly refusing to bring any new gun legislation to the floor for debate... probably so they don't lose those sweet NRA donations.

• This tracks: "Abbott said the shooter had a 'mental health' issue. A month ago, he slashed funding to help."

• Today in HA-HA-HA: Former President Trump AND his two corrupt children are being ordered to sit and answer questions in regards to the New York AG's investigation into the family's wicked shady biz practices.

• Actor Kevin Spacey (House of Cards, The Usual Suspects) will be charged in the UK with four counts of sexual assault against three men.

• And finally... it may take some effort, but do something nice for someone today! (We all need it!)