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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Outside is a muggy, hot mess—but you can expect partly sunny skies tomorrow with a balmy high of 78! Now let's peep some NEWS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• By now we should all realize that the recent election results overseen by Clackamas County Clerk Sherry Hall is a GODDAMN MESS. But! We're now finding out that Hall's fuck-ups goes back for many years, and her recent mishaps are only the tip of the fuck-up iceberg.
Former employees say her erratic management style resulted in an office that was at times dysfunctional. And though she’s strongly opposed politicizing the nonpartisan clerk’s office, Hall, a registered Republican, has faced ongoing accusations of doing precisely that. 2/5
— The Oregonian (@Oregonian) June 6, 2022
• Nonprofits in Oregon are asking for an $100 million investment from the Biden Administration to combat white supremacy in the state—and paying special focus to people of color who are susceptible to domestic terrorist attacks like the recent example in a Buffalo grocery store.
One of the most visibly successful arts endeavors of Portland's 2021 will-we-won't-we-still-be-in-a-pandemic season, Kickstand's Comedy in the Park series will return for 2022! https://t.co/Ps2bD5B6KN
— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) June 6, 2022
• It's the stuff of nightmares (at least MY nightmares): SNAPPING TURTLES! Apparently this invasive species has infiltrated Oregon and have been found in local waterways—and the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife are asking us to help catch them. (To which I quickly respond, "I support your efforts, but OHHHHH HELLLLL NOOOOOO!")
• Hear ye, hear ye! It's time for the newest, hilarious edition of THE TRASH REPORT. This week, ELINOR JONES asks the tough questions: Should Phil Knight buy Twitter? Is the Queen, like, alive or dead? And is gossip destroying our society? (Duh, LOL, c'mon.)
IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
• British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has survived a vote of "no confidence"—but just barely, which means while he will continue in his job for now, the political damage he's suffered is substantial.
• YOU'RE GONNA WANNA WATCH THIS:
🗓️ Thursday, June 9th at 8:00pm
— January 6th Committee (@January6thCmte) June 2, 2022
The Select Committee will hold a hearing to provide the American people with a summary of our findings about the coordinated, multi-step effort to overturn the 2020 presidential election.
• The far-right leader of the shithead extremist group, the Proud Boys, has been charged (along with four of his high-ranking shithead cohorts) with seditious conspiracy for their actions in the January 6 domestic terrorist assault on the nation's capitol.
• Today in "More Police Who Refuse to Do Their Jobs":
Man drowns as Arizona police watch: ‘I’m not jumping in after you’
— 🖕🏻Aunt Crabby Calls Bullshit 🖕🏻 (@DearAuntCrabby) June 6, 2022
Clearly, the cops are in the wrong profession. https://t.co/fQqdIwiUso
• Today in "DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT": Billionaire drool-baby Elon Musk is apparently getting cold feet about his deal to take over Twitter, but now is blaming it on the platform's execs who he says refuses to get him info about the number of fake accounts. WHATEVER, DROOL BABY! Hope ya go bankrupt!
• Today in "Fuck YOU, Texas": "Texas lawmaker proposes ban on minors watching drag shows." (Too late, dipshit! I took my kids to Vegas three weeks ago where we saw the live RuPaul's Drag Race show, and it was amazing. Hence, my children are already RUINED.)
• And finally... this is the way I feel every time I make the observation that the Beatles are overrated. (Which they are.)
Always gotta watch out for the Atlantic City seagulls while carrying food on the boardwalk pic.twitter.com/VrFqKRaQkx
— Wu-Tang Is For The Children (@WUTangKids) June 5, 2022
