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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Look, you're hungry, right? Then DO NOT SLEEP on  the Mercury’s NACHO WEEK: $6 plates of creative nachos from some of the most skillful snack makers around town—but it all ends on Sunday, July 17! So eat 'em up... and start with the following NEWS as an appetizer!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• On Wednesday the Portland Clean Energy Fund asked city council to approve $107 million in green energy grants—but you'd best believe the council had A LOT of tough questions for the organization following a series of criticisms about the voter-approved program. Our Isabella Garcia has the story.

• Reason #1,346,590 to not trust the cops: Do you think it's appropriate for Portland Police officers to become members of an armed, violent, anti-government extremist organization? Apparently the bureau is fine with it, as they have cleared one of their own, Officer Joseph Webber, after he joined the (ew!) Oath Keepers.

• Lucky us, Oregon currently has some of the strongest abortion protections in the nation, and we're intent on helping those from out-of-state... BUT! Make no mistake, that could all go swirling down the toilet depending on who we elect as our next governor. OPB lays out the scenario.

• Congrats to Oregon Supreme Court Justice Adrienne Nelson who has been nominated by President Joe Biden to serve as a federal judge (which would make her the first Black woman to serve on Oregon’s US District Court)!

• Please join me in saying, "Fuck YEWWWWW, Oregon Employers!": "Oregon employers say job seekers lacking in soft skills."

• Put on those smarty trousers! It's time to play POP QUIZ PDX—this week featuring quizzical trivia Qs about visiting blimps, the films of Gus Van Sant, and the Northwest's infamous turd, Patriot Prayer's Joey Gibson! LET'S GET BRAINY.  

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

Texas Republicans are suing the Biden administration over federal rules that require—wait for it—that abortions must be provided during medical emergencies when the person's life is in danger. That's how much Republicans (and the fake Christians that inspire them) hate you.

• This headline pretty much says it all: "Republicans shocked a 10-year-old can get pregnant after Ohio rape victim abortion story proves true."

• Well, this doesn't sound good: The Secret Service allegedly erased text messages dated January 5th and 6th after an investigation was launched into their response during the January 6 attack on the nation's capitol.

• Read this sentence about three times in order to comprehend what's going on, and then join me in saying, "WHAT THE FUCK??"

• A self-portrait of artist Vincent Van Gogh has been discovered after it was hidden behind one of his other paintings—which (fun fact) he apparently did because of the high cost of canvases.

• And finally... I wish this wasn't as true as it is.