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Good Afternoon, Portland! Today a couple guys in my neighborhood got a megaphone. Turns out they had a lot of wisdom to impart to the lucky many within earshot. Now I shall pass on some of that wisdom to you. Just kidding! I would never do that to you—here's THE NEWS!


•  Just starting with the most relevant story of today—a new study from LawnStarter, a lawn maintenance startup, found that Portland is the third best city in the nation to live in, if you are a hipster. Their findings are based on our city's number of tattoo parlors, vintage clothing shops, and vegan restaurants, among other things.

• Okay, an actually relevant story: A fired West Linn police sergeant has been "convicted of official misconduct." That mean he was sentenced to probation, and the Black man who he arrested on a made up theft charge was never notified of his plea deal.

•  Multnomah County is prepping for next week's "fire sky" heat wave:

•  UGH! YES! WOLF! PUP! NEWS! OPB reports that the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife found evidence—cute, photographic evidence—of a new wolf pack in Oregon.

•  Bad news time. Several upcoming Oregon Shakespeare Festival performances have been cancelled in response to a COVID outbreak at the fest, in Ashland. 

•  21ten is the new incarnation of Southeast Portland's small, scrappy Shoebox Theater and its first major production adapts Mindy Kaling's breakout play about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Just a lot to like there.

• There's SO MUCH happening this weekend. The Portland Sketch Comedy Festival is back, cracking up Old Town / Chinatown, and Kickstand in the Park performs a double bill show with the Black and brown comedy showcase Minority Retort. They're all on our list of awesome activities that won't break the bank.

• And don't forget that the Mercury's Summer of Slushies provides frosty, alcoholic slushies for just $6 through August 14!


• After less than three hours of deliberation, the jury judging former Trump advisor Steve Bannon found him guilty of contempt of Congress for failure to appear to testify in the Jan 6 committee hearings.

• A new Lord Birthday comic dropped yesterday. Yes, I think they count as comics. Yes, I considered what it would be like to live in a mind funny enough to write Lord Birthday, and (sure) I felt an uneasy sense of uncanny valley. Is this person even human? No, I am not yet ready to destroy Lord Birthday—he's very funny, and furthermore an Oregonian.

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