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Good afternoon, Portland: What a week! If you're reading this you're almost done with Friday! Even if you work Saturday—you're STILL almost done with Friday. Let's get to the news!


• The Mayor's office has decided to develop a pilot program for ShotSpotter: a controversial technology that uses microphones placed on telephone poles, street lights, and other tall structures in the city to detect gunshot and gunshot-like sounds. The pilot will need to be voted on by City Council before being adopted by the city.

• The face of Portland’s professional cuddling community, Samantha Hess, told the Oregonian's Lizzy Acker that she's quitting the world of cuddling in a profile that flirts with full-on spiral—unique for a 'moving on' piece. Hess said her reasons for closing her business were burnout, bad landlords, and what appears to be just regular ol' human cruelty and despair. What I'm taking away from this is LANDLORDS RUINED OUR CUDDLER.

Holy hell, check out the variety of glaze on display for the 2022 Wing Week. Our paper's incredible food week team brought 27 different bars and restaurants onboard to offer up six wings for $6 for 7 days

• Oooo ooo ooo it's Friday and you know what that means. Food news!


• Russia update: Like we said this morning, they're still holding sham elections and drafting men into service, but now they're going to exempt some of the men with white-collar jobs because the companies they work for care if they die.

• ICYMI: Can the president declassify with THOUGHT?

• ICYMI: Nintendo announced the name and release date of the follow up to the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Expect me to disappear for a little bit following May 12 of next year, as I greatly prefer the kingdom of Hyrule to this one.

• This afternoon's finance stuff: stonks are down, the pound is dipping, the price of US oil is the lowest its been all year, cryptocurrency is a shaky investment, and HEY why do crypto investors have so much money to throw away in the first place? Okay, no one asked the last one. No one ever asks that.

• Before you go into the weekend, it seems like a good time to remind you that the stock market is not the economy—it just reflects how a group of very large corporations are doing.

@planetmoney I will instantly block anyone who comments “stonks” #economics #stocks #stockmarket #tiktokpartner #learnontiktok ♬ original sound - planetmoney