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Good Afternoon, Portland! Recently, while drunk, I asserted that “all meat is ghost meat,” and while I don’t think I’m correct, I do think I’m right. Now for the news!

• Multnomah County DA Mike Schmidt announced yesterday that, going forward, his office will publish weekly lists of cases that are dismissed due to a lack of public defenders. He called the defense attorney shortage "a threat to public safety." While this may feel like a confusing new development, it's actually been brewing, in one way or another, with no obvious solution in sight.

• A man who murdered his wife and her sister before killing himself was allegedly wearing a GPS ankle tracker, which could have brought help if law enforcement saw him violating a condition of his release, but Washington County Circuit Court said they don't monitor the trackers outside normal business hours.

• Have you picked out a holiday after-feast—or a in lieu of feast—movie? If Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio—which opens on 35mm at the Hollywood tomorrow—has your interest peaked, check out Chase Hutchinson's review

• Also in Portland movie and movie-adjacent news, John Waters will celebrate his 77th birthday at Aladdin Theater, and the Clinton is running a week of Waters' cult films to celebrate—it's all happening in April, but we figured you would want a heads up!

• I continue to have no clue what you should buy for your loved ones during this winter holiday buying things time, but the Mercury's HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE has a ton of ideas, separated into categories like: artsy, foodie, stoner—better known as the three genders.

• A brief order from the Supreme Court today ended the years long debate over former President Donald Trump's tax returns. The Treasury Department will turn over six years worth of returns to the House, ending a legal battle that began in 2019.

• Amidst confusion over whether or not a future for student loan forgiveness remains, the nation's education department began sending out emails to applicants whose petitions had already been approved, in an attempt to keep them informed. "We will discharge your approved debt if and when we prevail in court,” the Hill reports the emails read. On Twitter, Education Secretary Miguel Cardona wrote: “Borrowers, remember, we will not stop fighting for you.”

• The tech world implosion (or decadal return to the sea?) continues, as Hewlett-Packard announced it plans to cut between 4,000 and 6,000 jobs over the next three years.

• You may remember the erroneous news from last week, about Russia firing on Poland—it's now believed Ukraine fired a Russian missile at some Russian missiles, in defense, and one hit a silo in Poland. The Associated Press fired the reporter with the faulty news, but it's not yet clear why he alone took the fall. 

• This is the vibe not only for watching movies without subtitles but also just for life in general, lately. Everything makes so much sense!



♬ original sound - BenAllenCurry