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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Eeep! Need a last-second gift idea? How about tickets to the Mercury's upcoming UNDISPUTABLE GENIUSES OF COMEDY show—featuring the cream of the crop of Portland stand-ups. Trust me, this show will be freaking hilarious, and your gift recipients will be like, "WHAAAAT? How did you know I needed exactly THIS?" And you'll be like, "Shucks, it weren't nothing... would you also like some NEWS?"

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Hey, y'all! In case you haven't noticed, 2022 was a YUGE year in news! A great way to revisit and reflect is by checking out the Mercury's "Wrapped" news recap. We're covering the biggest stories of the year in politics, cops, transportation, health, and lots more—plus it has those sexy data points (presented in a Spotify "Wrapped" style) that the kids of today just adore. Miss it at your brain's peril!

• Dang, it is COLD out there! Wind chills have dipped to the single digits, and we can expect snow and sleet tonight. Be careful out there, and don't forget our homeless friends and neighbors. If you need a warm place to say, here's a list of local warming stations that are open and waiting for you. (And Multnomah County has just opened another one as some stations are already reaching capacity... but! No one will be turned away!)

• Related: Last night dozens of Portlanders gathered in the freezing weather to share stories about homeless neighbors who passed away in 2022. And sadly, there were far too many. In a city that rushes to dehumanize the houseless, this is an important, touching story that will remind you about the importance of humanity. Our Alex Zielinski was there and has the report.

• If you're even slightly interested in transportation and how big (often wrong-headed) decisions get made in regards to interstate highways, bridges, and (coff, coff) certain Rose Quarter projects, do not miss this super fascinating Isabella Garcia interview with Metro President Lynn Peterson about her new book, Roadways for People. 

• Tough news for foodies: The wildly popular Feast Portland festival—the largest food-centric fest in the Pacific Northwest—will not be returning, after being knocked down and permanently out by the pandemic.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• The Senate has passed a big-time $1.7 trillion government spending bill that will avoid a government shutdown while also funding a host of domestic and defense needs, including workplace protections for pregnant folks and those who breastfeed, as well as sending $44 billion in aid to Ukraine, and overhauling election laws here at home.

• The arctic blast (and possibility of a "bomb cyclone") that's sweeping through the midwest is heading toward the east coast with more than 5,000 flights already cancelled (!) for Thursday and Friday—and the cold is no joke. With the wind chill, Des Moines, Iowa, is expected to feel like minus 37 degrees.

• Well, how about that? Even though the IRS audited both Presidents Obama and Biden annually, the exponentially suspicious Trump didn't get a single audit for the first two years he was in office. Turns out only ONE agent was assigned to him from the IRS before his presidency, and now only three. How come? Republicans have slowly been starving the agency of funds where they can now no longer properly audit the wealthy. 😡

• Today in "Lying fucking liars" headlines: "Sean Hannity admits in deposition he didn’t believe Trump voter fraud."

• And finally... HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Don't touch other peoples' rugs.