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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Hope you enjoyed that sunny morning, because rain is stickin' with us through the night, showers are stickin' with us tomorrow, and I'm stickin' it to YOU... with the NEWS. (Oh, calm down.)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• As the WW reported yesterday, Wheeler adviser Sam Adams abruptly resigned his job (of offering terrible ideas) due to health concerns... though the unusual speediness of the departure—his last day is TODAY—has lots of us reporter folks wondering if there's something more to his resignation than he's letting on. (After all, he's no stranger to hiding the truth.)

• While the US Census indicates that the population of Oregon is shrinking, other metrics are saying "UNH-UNH!" While the census tells us we supposedly lost 16,000 people to other states, other studies indicate that around 15,000 people moved in. (Sooooo... thanks to those 16,000 for leaving, I guess? Otherwise we'd have to put a rolling cot in our exercise room.)

• The co-owner of an extremely sketchy Portland pet rescue operation has been sentenced to five months years probation after it was discovered that Woofin Palooza (🙄) had been scamming customers, forging rabies certificates, and is accused of hundreds of counts (!!) of animal neglect. And if you think that's a light sentence... it is. But the feds are expected to swoop in with further charges and punishment.

• The U of O is currently packing up their Old Town digs and are in the process of moving to the former Concordia University campus in Northeast Portland, where they'll be setting up their Ballmer Institute for Children's Behavioral Health to help address mental health needs in kids. (Don't worry, they're not asking to borrow your pickup truck for the weekend.)

• If you're interested in the hottest music shows in town, then it would behoove you to check out this week's hotty-hot edition of Jenni Moore's HEAR IN PORTLAND, where you can expect a "Renaissance" dance party, a new album of contrasting songs from Snugsworth, and a spring headliner visit from Kingsley!

• Reminder to spread the word, bird:

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Flights FINALLY resumed this morning after a glitch in the FAA's computer system caused the immediate grounding of every plane in the nation. While folks were unsurprisingly screaming "CYBER ATTACK!!", the FAA is saying thus far that it was a "damaged database file" in the system that caused the havoc. But we shall see!

• Welp, this isn't going to help matters: "Biden aides find second batch of classified documents at new location." While the White House is saying it was a small number of documents, that sound you hear is Republicans filing their teeth. (If this keeps up they won't have time to squeal "Benghazi!!" or "What about the emails??")

• And because they learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING from the last election, Republicans in the House unanimously voted to approve two anti-abortion measures. (Oh... now I can hear Democrats filing their teeth, too.)

• Meanwhile a very small number of Republicans are calling for the resignation of fellow GOP member Rep. George Santos, calling him a "pathological liar" and correctly noting that "He's not a normal person." 🤣

• Good news! Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin has been released from the hospital and is resting comfortably at home following his recent cardiac arrest suffered during a Monday night game against Cincinnati. No word yet on what caused his heart attack.

• And finally, because you deserve it, here is Queen Jennifer Coolidge's acceptance speech at last night's Golden Globes which happens to be perfection.

@rollingstone this one for my #whitelotus fans #whitelotusseason2 #whitelotushbo #thewhitelotus #thewhitelotusseason2 #thewhitelotusedit #tv #tvtok #television #fyp #fypシ #foryou ♬ original sound - Rolling Stone