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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! All you "Oooooh, I love Autumn!" people can just sit the hell down, because MY favorite temperatures (low to mid 80s) are coming back this weekend and through Monday! Now let's heat up with some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Surprise, surprise, another violent Portland cop is let off the hook. OPB reports that Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt will not be charging Officer Craig Lehman for violently shoving a protester, who walking away from him, to the ground, because the office cannot allegedly prove that Lehman acted with a "conscious objective to harass or annoy" the person he attacked. (Reminder that Lehman's actions was just one of 6,000 documented acts of violence by the police during the 2020 protests—nearly all of which were determined to be a-ok within bureau policy.) 

• Mayor Ted Wheeler has decided to give the go-ahead for a pilot program to install the controversial ShotSpotter technology around town—hidden microphones that register what it thinks are gunshots in order to more quickly alert police. BUT HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THAT: The tech isn't exactly foolproof as it's known to pick up car door slams (and other loud sounds) and bring panicky cops to, say, a neighborhood of color with guns drawn. Also, those same hidden mics are listening to you talk, raising privacy concerns. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

• OPB asked the Oregon candidates for governor what they thought about the death penalty, and while Democrat Tina Kotek said she'd continue the moratorium on capital punishment, both Republican Christine Drazan and "Shadow Republican" Betsy Johnson indicate they'd like to revoke it. (And somehow Johnson comes off even more Republican than Drazan??)

• Congrats to Portland chef Gregory Gourdet and his modern Haitian-style eatery Kann for making the New York Times' list of the Top 50 Restaurants in America.

• In this week's HEAR IN PORTLAND, Dame D.O.L.L.A. jumps on a track with Tobe Nwigwe, and a host of great shows including indie folk shows, back patio hip hop dance parties, and a very Harry Styles Harryween.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Putin has started sham "elections" in Ukraine in an attempt to annex parts of the country that, all together, would be about the size of Portugal. Meanwhile, the UN has labeled actions taken by Russia in Ukraine as war crimes, which include rape and torture.

• "Special Master" Raymond Dearie is making the Trump team rue the day they suggested him for the job, because he's once again insisting that the former president better provide proof of his accusations that the FBI planted evidence, or... you know... shut the fuck up.

• Donald Trump's top cronies are launching a super PAC—grossly named "MAGA, Inc"—that intends to flood the ex-president's endorsed candidates with money prior to the November midterms.

• Worthless shitheel/liar Alex Jones is in court again saying to the grieving Sandy Hook families that he's done apologizing for the lies he spread about how their dead children were killed. (Sounds like he wasn't sorry in the first place.)

• Reminder that, even with all the crap you just read, the universe is really a big, beautiful place.

• And finally... me, going into the weekend like....