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Good Morning, Portland! Snakes have clitorises! Let's hit the news.


• In Harney County, Judge Raschio IS BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE WHITE VANS temporary order to delay the permit requirement that is part of the Measure 114. OPB reports that Raschio intends his order to remain in effect until Oregon's new permitting system is up and running, saying he is convinced that failing to do so could cause "irreparable harm to the constitutional right to bear arms."

• Yesterday in damn girl, damn news, Gov. Kate Brown commuted 17 death row sentences to those of life in prison without parole. “Unlike previous commutations I’ve granted to individuals who have demonstrated extraordinary growth and rehabilitation," Brown said in a statement.

• In I GUESS ANYTHING CAN BE HISTORIC NOW news, the posh Eastmoreland neighborhood in Southeast Portland was recently listed on the National Register of Historic Places. The reasoning for this: the preservation of the neighborhoods' "handsome collection of largely Period Revival style homes interspersed with Craftsman Bungalow and midcentury Minimal Traditional and early Ranch style properties." So you're telling me that, in a city with a housing and homelessness crisis several years underway, a decidedly NOT DENSE ("excellent example of an early automobile suburb,” the Oregonian cheerfully called it) Portland neighborhood has earned the right to legally block change, diversity, and growth. What on earth is there to cherish about a low-walk-score hive of scum and NIMBYs?

• Apropos of the whole planet burning down around our ears, a new map from the New York Times illustrates the clear connection between sustainable city planning and lower carbon emissions. Bike Portland examined  the Portland data, and you'll never believe what neighborhood is sitting in a sea of green—glowing like a forest fire sunset. 

• Everything to do with Twin Peaks is local news. RIP Angelo Badalamenti.

• ICYMI, a mother wrote into Savage Love, to ask Dan if she should pay half the bill for her son's BDSM session. Dan offered up advice and a book she could read, for further research.

• Did you get a chance to check on the Mercury's Free Ticket Tuesday this week? There's a Tuesday in the name, but you actually have until Thursday to enter! This week we have tickets to ZooLights at the Oregon Zoo and Folk Festival at the Crystal Ballroom up for grabs!


• The Associated Press reports that thousands of soccer fans flooded Argentina's capital and most populous city, Buenos Aires, after the nation's team defeated Croatia's—securing a spot in the semi-final match of FIFA World Cup. The 2022 World Cup, in Qatar, has been eventful for a number of stories: among them, the deaths of migrant workers and uncertain futures that await them, and the sudden death of sports reporter Grant Wahl, which his family says was due to a blood clot.

• More bullshit from Elon Musk's descent into Willy Wonka-esque shenanigans: Not only has the eccentric businessman (who appears to be actively trying to tank his own investment so it doesn't cost more money in the long run) laid off more than half Twitter's workforce and lost over half its top advertisers, he's also recently dissolved its Trust and Safety Council, parted from the personal lawyer that HE INSTALLED in October, and now appears to be instructing employees to no longer pay the company's bills so he'll have enough money for all his lawsuits. Are we in an installment of Schadenfreude Corner OR NOT? It's so hard to tell when rich men are spiraling because no matter what they do they'll be okay!

•  As part of Ukraine's "I Want to Live" project, Ukraine's army has released a video with a step-by-step guide describing how invading Russian soldiers can surrender to the nation's drones.

• We all understand that the internet is essentially a bottomless void of cat-related media, and yet where is the giant glossy Cat Fancy cultural explainer of Ukrainian War Cat TikTok? DOES PUTIN OWN CAT FANCY? I'M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS. GOOD MORNING.

@popandopulo_ua #зсу🇺🇦 #зсу #nowarinukraine #saveukraine #stoprussianagression #ukrainewar #ukrainiansoldiers #войнавукраине #украинскаяармия #україна #війнавукраїні #кот #котик #warinukraine ♬ оригинальный звук - Popandopulo_UA