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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Looking for fun this weekend? Well, may I suggest the HUMP! Film Festival, which is chock-a-block full of funny, sexy, and super horny amateur porn flicks? I thought you might like that idea! But ya gotta hurry... these shows are selling out quick! And now, may I also suggest the idea of some NEWS?


• Yesterday Mayor Wheeler announced the location of the city's first sanctioned mass homeless camp, which will be placed in Southeast Portland near the Clinton/SE 12th MAX stop, and is expected to somehow safely service 150 folks... with security patrolling the perimeter? SOUNDS SUPER ENTICING! In addition, the mayor also announced that California-based (and controversial) non-profit Urban Alchemy will be running the camp. While the city is backpedaling on their terrible idea of actually criminalizing homelessness, instead they hope to entice houseless folks to live in the camp by wiping away old warrants or fines... which kind of insinuates that homeless people are already criminals. 😑 As you can see, there's a LOT that hasn't been thought out about this plan. Our Isabella Garcia has all the details!

• Related: Firefighters were surprised to find a blaze had broken out inside a walled off section of the eastbound onramp to the Steel Bridge, and a person who had been living inside was seriously injured. Questions remain as to how the person got in, but there's no question as to why: The mayor's homeless sweeps (in addition to Commissioner Rene Gonzalez' new asinine and cruel tent ban) is forcing the houseless to become more creative in ways to stay alive, and as we can see, the city's efforts to push them out of the view of the public is putting lives at risk.

• A Multnomah County Sheriff’s deputy has been sentenced to 35 days in jail stemming from a domestic violence charge. County prosecutors say the "heavily intoxicated" former corrections deputy, Larry D. Wenzel, beat his partner of 30 years, and attempted to strangle her.

• Here's another reason why people roll their eyes at local TV news: Failed gubernatorial spoiler candidate and known Portland hater Betsy "City of Roaches" Johnson has been given a gig on local news station KGW as a "political commentator." Their news director defends the decision by noting that "she has a lot to say." (Apparently the quality of that content is a non-issue.)

• Strap on your brain, trivia lovers! Let's see how you score on this week's super fun POP QUIZ PDX. This week: fancy new cop cars, Republican dickwhistles, and SLAP FIGHT! SLAP FIGHT! SLAP FIGHT! 👋


• Former President Trump has "been invited" to testify before a grand jury investigating hush money payments to Stormy Daniels during the 2016 presidential campaign—a move that could signal prosecutors are getting close to bringing the first of hopefully many criminal charges against him. 😃

• A shooter in Germany stormed a Jehovah's Witness congregation in Munich, killing six before turning the gun on himself.

• The US employment market staying stronger than expected, adding an additional 311,000 jobs in February—though wage increases are slowing.

• OOF...

• A spokesperson for Meta (the stupid new name for Facebook) told reporters that the company is looking to create a new social media platform that could replace Twitter—in other words, exchanging a bag of shit for a somewhat shinier bag of shit.

• And finally... I had this exact same thought. When I was high.