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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Early warning: You're gonna want to start stretching out your stomach NOW, because in just one short week on Monday April 17, the Mercury's delicious, gut-filling PIZZA WEEK returns, featuring $3 creative, one-of-a-kind slices at 36 locations! Get ready to eat! And while you're stretching out things, stretch out your brain for some NEWS.


• Workers at the downtown Starbucks in Pioneer Square are saying that one of the organizers that helped attain an unanimous unionization effort has been fired out of retaliation—though management claims it was due to other causes. Our Abe Asher looked into it and files this report.

• Officials at Canby High School unceremoniously yanked 36 books off of library shelves last month because—get this—TWO naggy parents complained they were inappropriate. Oh, and it gets worse: The banned books were primarily penned by Black, Latina, or LGBTQ+ women. (I think I'm beginning to suspect what the problem with these parents might be.)

• Energy providers PacifiCorp are currently defending themselves in court against charges that they failed to shut off power to lines that were knocked down by high winds in 2020 and possibly led to wildfires that killed nine and destroyed thousands of homes. Not helping their case? New evidence that says state officials warned them to shut off the power BEFORE the winds knocked them down.

• RIP Henk Pander, the famed Oregonian visual artist known for his vivid, sometimes terrifying paintings of historical events, who died Friday at the age of 85.


• At least five are dead and six injured (including a cop) in the first mass shooting of the week at a bank in Louisville, Kentucky. According to police, the shooter has been "neutralized." More details to come.

• The Nashville Metro Council is meeting today to most likely reinstate Rep. Justin Jones, one of two Black men expelled by the clearly racist Republican-led state legislature, because he peacefully protested against gun violence along with students. The council intends on sending him back to the statehouse, and it's unclear how the Republican lawmakers will react—but probably poorly?

• Dozens of purported Department of Defense classified documents have been leaked online, and while there's the possibility they may have been altered, officials are saying they are real. Among the revelations: The US reportedly has been spying on Russia's war efforts against Ukraine as well as gathering intel on allies South Korea and Israel.

• Yeesh-almighty. I'm just going to leave this headline right here, and slowly walk away: "The Dalai Lama apologizes for asking a young boy to suck his tongue."

• In news that threw my teen into existential crisis this weekend:

• SPOILER ALERT: If you were slow to watch last night's jaw-dropping episode of HBO's Succession, DO NOT LOOK AT TWITTER. Otherwise, you can read this.

• And finally... whew, all that news was EXHAUSTING. Time for a Monday morning snack!