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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Have you checked out our new and wildly festive HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR? It's the Mercury's newest print guide (online and at 500+ locations around the city) and it's jam-crammed with all sorts of funny, sad, sweet, and useful information about how to survive and thrive this holiday season. Pick one up, read one up, and slide on up to today's NEWS.


• It's day 10 for the Portland teachers' strike, and while the union brought a new offer to the table that would supposedly allow the district to save money on class sizes, PPS officials insisted the math was off by about $100 million, and nixed the idea. So now the specter of "no school until after Thanksgiving" is a real possibility. And while the city and county have previously jumped in to offer millions to help the district stave off a strike, both entities are currently refusing to offer that same assistance. Meanwhile as the cries of "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!" reach a fever pitch, why is no one thinking of the Oregonian Editorial Board, who are so apoplectic over this situation, they cannot help but write a steady stream of screeching rants against [waves hands in the air] everyone even slightly involved, even though no one (except me I guess) is paying attention to them. (You're right... I should find something better to do with my time.)

• VERY MUCH RELATED: The state's top revenue forecaster told legislators they will most likely have an extra $335 million to spend this coming fiscal year, primarily from taxes on the wealthy. Could this money be going to make up the difference in the PPS teachers' strike and end it now? YES, IT COULD. However, legislators are balking at that idea, because they say if they do that, they'll have to also fund all the state's school districts. Then BITCH, FUND ALL THE STATE'S DISTRICTS! Do they literally not know what their jobs are?!? (Omigod, I'm sounding like the Oregonian Editorial Board, and need to lie down with a cold compress on my eyes.)

• Yesterday marked the last time Portland City Council will meet in council chambers at City Hall until 2025. As you may have heard, the chambers needs a revamp before all 12 of those  BRAND NEW commissioners take over the new room—to the dismay of our current, untrustworthy council people. Anyway, in the meantime, council meetings will go virtual before resuming in-person at an alternate location in January. Our Courtney Vaughn has the deets you need!

• A MAX train and a Portland Streetcar collided yesterday in the Lloyd District and derailed, leaving two people injured. It's currently unclear what happened, but officials note it was probably either operator error or a problem with the signals.

• Remember that big "downtown task force" that Governor Kotek put together to appease the screams of local millionaires help generate ideas to polish up downtown Portland's image that was ruined by the screams of local millionaires? While they've been holding the top secret meetings behind closed doors (🤫), a few of their ideas have leaked out, including good ones such as providing grants to low-income PSU students so they can live downtown, and supporting more arts in the central city. But despite these good ideas, "cutting taxes for local screaming millionaires" remains one of the group's top objectives in order to (you guessed it) appease the screams of local millionaires.


• As you may have heard, Israel's hard right government says it has been absolutely necessary to bomb the shit out of hospitals, because that's where Hamas has been hiding their military headquarters... and yet? After two days of searching the overrun Al-Shifa Hospital, Israeli forces haven't found much except for the desperate health care staff who have been trying to save bombing victims with no fuel, electricity, or anesthesia. Huh, weird.

• More trouble for lying liar George Santos: The House Ethics Committee found that the beleaguered representative had violated federal law by defrauding voters, and using campaign donations for his own personal, lying needs. The findings have been delivered to prosecutors, prompting Santos to announce he would not run for re-election... unless, you know, he's lying about that too.

Thousands of Starbucks workers are walking off the job today, on what is arguably the busiest day of the year for the coffee chain: Red Cup Day. It's when Starbucks offer customers a red reusable cup if they order a holiday-themed drink, but workers are using the opportunity to put pressure on the company to do something about their staffing and scheduling woes.

• Today in "right on brand": "Elon Musk faces scrutiny after calling antisemitic X post the ‘absolute truth’."

• And finally... reminder not to bring a murder of Corgi pups to your yoga class—unless you want to ENJOY yoga class!!