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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Get ready for a stretch of impossibly sunny days with highs hitting 73 by the weekend! Sounds to me like the perfect time to watch PORN in a dark theater with hundreds of other happy, horny folks at the HUMP! Film Festival which ends this Friday! Get those tix quick, and now for some impossibly sunny and/or horny NEWS.


• Finally a topic most Portlanders agree on: Yesterday city council took the expected step to unanimously 86 gas-powered leaf blowers in Portland. The ban will partially start in 2026 (and will offer small businesses incentives to buy electric blowers) and will take complete effect in 2028. So you may still be awoken by them, annoyed by the noise, or hit in the face with dirt as you walk past, but at least it will smell better (and be less harmful to living things and the environment). Our Taylor Griggs has the deets!

• The city and county are hitting the reset button on their continuing plan to reduce homelessness, promising to open 1,000 additional shelter beds and provide roughly 2,700 unhoused people with housing or shelter over the next two years. The idea is to cut countywide homelessness in half... a very ambitious plan that has many people rightfully skeptical, including a certain county commissioner who loves kvetching but refuses to offer a plan of her own. (Can you guess who it is?) Our Courtney Vaughn has more.

• Conservative Commish Rene Gonzalez is at it again: In his continuing bid to wipe out the progressive plans that a majority of Portlanders have voted to implement, the commissioner is attempting to push a referral to the November ballot that would permanently alter and siphon off money from the Portland Clean Energy Fund, and redirect funds that are supposed to be used for life-saving climate projects to the public safety bureau he currently (and poorly) oversees. He apparently has fellow conspirator Dan Ryan on board—who also helped him in his failed, hilarious face-plant of a plan to subvert voter approved charter reform. Looks like its time for them to publicly embarrass themselves again! (AND I'M HERE FOR IT.)

• Oh, and on the topic of Gonzalez, you should definitely check out Alex Zielinski's profile of the commissioner which has a lot of juicy deets, including this golden nugget (which doesn't exactly bode well for his delusional plan to become mayor, and is also... OOF):

[Five city staffers] pointed to the commissioners’ apparent unwillingness to meet with bureau directors or other commissioners to be briefed on proposals before they appear on the council agenda. They said this has led to Gonzalez expressing confusion at the dais, seeking complicated answers that could have been resolved earlier, and eating up meeting time.

• According to the newest numbers from the U.S. Census Bureau, the population of the Portland area continued to shrink in 2023, but just by a teensy-tiny bit. However, it should be noted that these results run counter to a recent Portland State study that showed that the tri-county area gained residents last year, and is probably the one you should believe since they don't rely on income tax forms and used the latest data to come to their conclusions. In any case, that's good news for us and bad news for the People of Portland fearmonger class who thrive and financially depend on the city's destruction.


• Trump's lawyers are in Florida today to ask the court to dismiss the federal criminal charges that accuse him of mishandling classified documents, claiming that the former prez is immune to prosecution because he was simply doing his duty to "protect" the docs... by stashing them in leaky cardboard boxes in his bathroom. 🤔

• Meanwhile former U.S. Treasury Secretary (under Trump) Steven Mnuchin says he's going to bring together a group of investors to buy TikTok, a day after Congress passed a resolution to ban the teen-favored social media app unless the company's Chinese ownership doesn't sell its stake in the biz. (Think there's nothing worse than Elon Musk buying Twitter? Think again.)

• Speaking of grandpas who wear skinny jeans and purchase social media companies, Elon Musk has unceremoniously fired reporter Don Lemon who was supposed to have a new show on Twitter... until he interviewed Musk on his first show. Apparently it did NOT go well for Musk, who is a so-called "free speech advocate" until that free speech criticizes HIM.

• And in yet more Musk-adjacent news, his company SpaceX somewhat successfully launched their latest rocket, which did much better than its two predecessors... until they lost it during reentry. (Maybe Steven Mnuchin and his investor pals purchased it mid-flight?)

• And finally... here is a video recreation of what happened when Commissioner Rene Gonzalez decided to get into politics.