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Good Morning, Portland: I'm writing the news in a cafe where someone is ordering "something vegan" for a teenager, and they're getting one of everything. If I could elicit a tenth of the terror this young person evokes I'd probably get a lot more respect around the office. Anyway, you don't have to respect me to READ THIS NEWS.

• The National Weather Service is warning that the incoming PNW heat wave may last several days. It's actually a national heat wave, but some areas of the country will be cooler by Monday. NOT US! It initially looked like the Portland area would cool down to the still unthinkably warm—to me—mid-80s by next Wednesday, but it now appears we could still be rocking hundo strong. If you need me, I will be laying in the dark playing Zelda.

• In late June, the Oregon Health Authority fired its longtime Equity and Inclusion Division director Leann Johnson, and the decision is not sitting well with a number of the agency's staff, the Oregonian's Carlos Fuentes reports. Johnson had led the division for nearly ten years and had just received a national award for her work. A memo provided to both the Oregonian and the Lund Report from OHA's relatively new director Sejal Hathi to the agency’s human resources director cited a backlog of internal agency civil rights complaints and Johnson's “inability or unwillingness” to accept feedback as reasons for her firing. Johnson called the memo vague and said she wasn't allowed the opportunity to respond to the "elusive allegations." Employees at the agency told Fuentes "they believe Hathi fired Johnson because she consistently spoke up on behalf of her employees and challenged leaders when she saw actions or behaviors that fostered an inequitable workplace."

• Speaking of trash fire, Portland Fire & Rescue put out multiple major blazes yesterday, working on one at  a pallet recycling location in Cully for hours before moving on to triplex residential fire that they say started when a BBQ fell over. The pallet fire is still under investigation for cause, but the burn ban is real, folks. The sentiment of "This location is covered in large numbers of tall piles of pallets. This amount of fuel will be difficult to overcome. We will be here for quite some time," strikes me as very relatable.

• I know you like to weigh in on the city and her lewks. The county is pretending to give a shit for once. Check out these six potential designs for the Burnside Bridge and VOTE ON'M. Sorry, "leave it alone; traffic is bad enough; unenforced masonry rules everything around me" isn't a design—it's a way of life.

• Do you remember the protest at Portland’s Grand Floral Parade last month, where a handful of demonstrators laid in the parade path to show support and raise awareness for Palestine? Well that small infraction led to eight arrests, among them a woman named Serine Abuelhawa who says she was forced to remove her hijab in front of male deputies during the subsequent booking process at Multnomah County Jail. She found the tense interaction traumatizing and it may prove to be a civil rights violation.

• While I'll be laying in the dark, I know YOU WILL BE OUT. You're the more popular one. So here's some news to get amped about in the local music world—shows, songs, and more:

• As the city looks ahead to rolling out voter-mandated charter reform (scheduled to take effect next year) the city bureaus—long held in death-match competition between political knives of our city's drama-loving commissioners—have been handed off to six deputy city administrators. There's a deputy admin for each new service area: Budget and Finance, City Operations, Community and Economic Development, Public Safety, Vibrant Communities, and Public Works, which contain within them the city’s two dozen departments. The deputy admins will be overseen by Interim City Administrator Michael Jordan. Mercury reporter Taylor Griggs has more.

If you're still feeling patriotic and explosive, don't sleep on the Mercury's weekly Pop Quiz PDX. If you returned post-holiday to a state of gentle derisiveness, please join me in NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL BULLSHIT NEWS.

• Today's top story is the United Kingdom's election—shut up, no it isn't. Pretty much the whole purpose of the Fourth of July is that we don't have to care about UK politics. But it happened. And after 14 years of power, the UK's conservative party (AKA the Tories) lost to Labour.  Labour—what is that French? No, that's how the antiquated country that used to own ours spells that word. Okay, boomer. Anyway, the transfer of power is immediate there and people are freaking out about whether center-left government figures like cats. Take a moment to enjoy this stream-of-consciousness commentary on government cat Larry, the longtime mouse-catcher in residence at Downing Street, which has been the government residence of British Prime ministers since 1735.

• Sometimes you just want to read about crime and jewels. If that's your vibe this morning, you should direct your attention to Brazil's former president, Jair Bolsonaro, who is being indicted for money laundering because of JEWELS he received from Saudi Arabia during his time in office.  It's is straight-up embarrassing that Brazil has checks on the power of their president and we no longer have any. Boo.

• President Biden met with the nation's Democrat governors Wednesday night—among them Oregon's Gov. Kotek—at a hybrid in-person / remote meeting organized by the chair of the Democratic Governors Association. I don't think I have to tell you there's a Tootsee Roll of rumor swirling about Biden stepping aside or staying the course. Holding a meeting the Wednesday night before July 4 sounded fairly dramatic, but reports from the meeting say the president led with his intention to stay in the race, "described his extensive foreign travel in the weeks before the debate," and announced his intention to get more sleep by doing things like "curtailing events after 8 pm." Such as post-working day meetings with the nation's two dozen dem governors? He probably didn't mean it like that.

• Apropos of nothing—this seemed pretty relatable this morning.



♬ original sound - Andrew Rousso